Why 'RHOC' 's Shannon Beador Didn't Take Medication to Battle Depression After Her Divorce

Why was Shannon Beador so against going on anti-depressants? She explained why on the final part of the Real Housewives of Orange County season 13 reunion, that aired on Sunday.

Shannon Beador was not very happy when her friends and Real Housewives of Orange County castmates suggested she go on medication to handle the emotional mood swings she was having following her contentious divorce from ex-husband David Beador.

Ambushed with the idea by Tamra Judge, Vicki Gunvalson and Kelly Dodd while on vacation in Jamaica, the 54-year-old mother of three made it clear she didn’t want to go on medication, blowing up in one of the biggest tantrums in RHOC history.

So why was Shannon so against that form of treatment? She explained why on the final part of the Bravo show’s season 13 reunion, which aired on Sunday.

“I understand that’s it’s done wonders for a lot of my friends. I also have a couple friends that turned a little bit zombie-like,” Shannon said. “There’s a part of me who, when I stayed home for those six months and didn’t go out, I just wanted to experience the pain and process it.”

Of course, Shannon might have calmly explained that to Judge, Gunvalson and Dodd, had she been given the opportunity.

“The suggestion was made after a very volatile dinner,” Shannon confessed. “If that was a true concern of someone, I would have appreciate a one-on-one or two-on-two, in a calm environment.”

Trae Patton/Bravo

But Judge felt like she couldn’t talk to Shannon about some of her feelings. “I really felt like I couldn’t get them out to you,” she told Shannon. “‘Cause every time I do, you just switch it. You’re like a master manipulator, switcher, and I’m like, ‘Oh, I’m an a——.’ It’s like a defense thing with you. And maybe its years of being with David that taught you to do it.”

She was right. “It is, because I always needed to prove I was a good person,” Shannon said.

“In my marriage I heard that I was selfish, that I was an alcoholic from day one — even though I went through, like, five years without even a drink — and that I was crazy. And those are the three things that I was hearing from you,” she added. “I’m not trying to make excuses. That is something that continually was a theme for 17 years, from day one, and maybe even before.”

“‘You can’t handle your life. Look at you. You’re a mess. And you need help,’ ” Shannon recalled David saying to her, breaking into tears. “[I heard that all the time]. I’m not trying to make excuses, but you just f—ing hit a nerve in me right now. It’s what he said all the time. Just like that. … I’m sorry.”

Gina KIrschenhelter, Kelly Dodd, Tamra Judge, Shannon Beador, Vicki Gunvalson, and Emily Simpson. Trae Patton/Bravo

By reunion’s end, Shannon had patched things up with the rest of the girls, including Judge.

The two best friends hadn’t spoken in the weeks since the Jamaica episode aired.

“I’ve talked to my therapist pretty much every single day since I got the episode,” Shannon said. I get it, everybody hurts for their own reason but for me, I was hurt by a lot of things. It was almost a feeding frenzy.”

“It was really difficult for me and I was afraid to talk to you before this, I just was,” she told Judge. “Because I didn’t know how it was going to turn out turn out. I didn’t know if we were going to get into a worse fight, if we were going to be okay — I didn’t know. So I was afraid to do it, prior to coming here. I clearly have to work on listening and not icing out because that is what I do.”

It helped that Judge, as well as the other women, apologized for accusing Shannon of being an alcoholic. “I don’t think she has a problem with alcohol,’ Judge said. “I think she self-medicated herself many times and it’s a depressant.”

“Oh absolutely,” Shannon said. “And I admit it.”

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And now that the season is behind her, Shannon says she’s just looking forward to what’s next — including dating.

“I’m out and that’s what I want,’ she said. “If I meet the right person, that’ll be great. For now it’s excited about meeting people and doing different things. David wasn’t the most social person so I didn’t go out much. So now I can go out and go, ‘Hey!’

“I have to say, where I am right now, I am very excited for the future,” Shannon continued. “There’s a part of me that like that you don’t know what’s ahead. Because it kind of makes it more exciting.”