"I've sacrificed chunks of my soul. I can't live like this anymore," McDermott said

By Amanda Michelle Steiner
Updated December 10, 2014 12:45 PM
Charles Sykes/AP

In an explosive end to Season 2 of True Tori, Dean McDermott, frustrated with wife Tori Spelling‘s disappointment, demanded to know why they’re even still together.

The episode followed the fallout from McDermott’s decision to have a female friend from rehab interview for the chance to babysit their four children, as well as Spelling’s hospitalization in October for bronchitis and a sinus infection.

Spelling, 41, wanted to talk to McDermott, 48, about the texts between him and his friend, but he refused to let her be on camera or let them mention her name. An upset McDermott deflected from the issue at hand, telling his wife, “I’m f—ing tired of this show! It was not supposed to be part of the story. Not cool!”

He continued: “I’ve sacrificed chunks of my soul. I can’t live like this anymore – there’s no order.”

In therapy – to which McDermott was late – Dr. Ann Wexler suggested that McDermott may be ready for their lives to be private once again. However, Spelling insisted, True Tori is a “good tool” because it “helps [her] growth.”

McDermott, however, disagreed. When he joined their session, he said, “I feel like every move I make is wrong.” When Spelling countered that it was hurtful for him to bring his female friend from rehab into their home, McDermott exploded.

“This is totally f—ed up,” he said. “If you don’t like my choices, why the f— are you with me?

“There’s hope for Tori and Dean if we don’t do the f—ing show,” he continued. “This is not good for us.”

“I love him, but he just doesn’t get it,” Spelling told her therapist after her husband stormed out, wondering what she should do when the person you love just makes the “wrong decisions.”

“Do you think it’s possible for him to change?” Wexler asked. “No,” Spelling replied.

Later in the episode, McDermott stepped up as head of household while his wife was in the hospital, telling cameras, “I’m going to be brutally honest. Things have been really peaceful and calm at home.” (That is, without Spelling there.)

Upon Spelling’s release, the conversation about McDermott’s female friend continued. Spelling was, of course, concerned that her husband may cheat again.

“It’s not just a friendship. It’s something beyond that,” McDermott admitted.

“Right – and that’s what scares me. Because there’s an emotional connection.”

McDermott refused to continue talking about his friend, who hadn’t consented to being on the show: “The lines are so blurred with this f—ing show. I don’t want people seeing me go through this process. I don’t feel good about it anymore.”

He added: “I just can’t continue on.”

“Where does that leave me?” Spelling asked.

Presumably, it leaves Spelling without a filming partner: The True Tori finale wasn’t the first time McDermott lamented the effect the show has had on his life.

“I can’t keep opening a vein, opening my soul and sharing my feelings and thoughts and demons with the world,” he told Access Hollywood Live in November.

Meanwhile, Lifetime has yet to concretely reveal the future of True Tori.

Check Out Tori’s Changing Looks Through the Years