The Kroll Show Series Finale: The Top 5 Sketches Ranked
Niece Denise and her giant braces, Brian La Croix's hit music video, the worst of the Rich Dicks and more
Nick Kroll has played a lot of characters on Comedy Central’s The Kroll Show: Many were jerks; all were hilarious. Tuesday marked the series finale, and if you didn’t catch the episode, you and your DVR can still enjoy it together, as you laugh until your belly hurts and cry as you fast-forward through commercial breaks, knowing that one of the greatest comedy sketch shows has come to an end.
“I had a vision for what the show would be and I felt like we accomplished what we wanted to do,” creator and star Kroll explained to Jimmy Kimmel, on deciding to end the show after three seasons. “I just picture the show like a trilogy.”
As we say goodbye, we rank the top five sketches over the course of a series that ended way too soon.
1. WHEN WE MET LIZ’S NIECE DENISE
When Niece Denise (Jenny Slate) showed up at the PubLIZity offices dressed in a personalized baby pink karaoke top and her oversized braces, we knew it was love at first scrunchie. With Pretty Liz M.I.A., Denise goes on a shopping spree with Liz G. (Kroll), where a photographer (Will Forte) decides to have an impromptu photo shoot with the teen.
Best Line: “Am I being discovered right now, and if so, can you please take my picture by a coconut palm tree?” -Niece Denise
2. WHEN BRIAN LA CROIX DEBUTED HIS MUSIC VIDEO
Brian La Croix is the ultimate teen idol: He’s a Canadian pop star with Justin Bieber-esque clothes and hair, he stars on the hit Degrassi-esque show Wheels Ontario, and he becomes a judge on the American Idol-esque show Show Us Your Songs Commonwealth. But La Croix (Kroll) was never better than when he starred in his music video for the single “Ottawanna Go to Bed.” If you find yourself singing the lyrics before bedtime, just know you are not alone.
Best Line: “Ottawanna go to bed mom, we’re trying to text some girls we like, so get the heck out of my room mom.” -Brian La Croix
3. WHEN FARLEY AUDITIONED FOR THE GIGOLO HOUSE
Bobby Bottleservice (Kroll) is the ultimate loser: some sort of promoter and Jersey Shore cheeseball all in one. His one weakness is the love of his life, Farley (Chelsea Peretti). Emotions start flying when the Gigolo House holds auditions to replace a member and Farley shows up to prove that, even though she’s a woman, she deserves a shot at being a gigolo.
Best Line: “I think I brought my résumé and it’s right here. So basically if you don’t see a résumé in front of you right now, then you’re basically majorly tripping.” -Farley
4. WHEN THE RICH DICKS TRIED TO BUY A PLANE
Wendy (Jon Daly) and Aspen (Kroll) are the spawns of new money and old money, and no matter what they are doing, they are the absolute worst. They have a lot of money to do whatever they want and seem to epitomize the most cringe-worthy aspects of the Instagram-brag-obsessed generation. This becomes all the more clear when their private plane gets ruined by Axl Rose and Tyrese and the best buds try to purchase a new plane at an airport ticket counter, only to have the rep explain that they don’t sell whole planes, only seats.
Best Line: “We need to get to the Dubai Film Festival. We’ve got a short doc about the plight of the Iraqi people who live in Beverly Hills.” -Wendy
5. WHEN CASSANDRA QUIT PUBLIZITY
After the first PubLIZity sketch aired, emails began flying. It seemed that everyone knew someone who reminded them of Liz and Liz. The super-gushy, over-the-top, annoying PR girls hit home. If The Simple Life and Keeping Up with the Kardashians had a baby, it would be PubLIZity. In this sketch, Liz and Liz are utterly baffled when boring and unassuming Cassandra quits the PR firm after landing her own reality show.
Best Line: “Like, honestly Cassandra, like, I’m like an open kind spirit and, like, I don’t hold a grudge so I just wanna say, like, I am so happy for you that you’re, like, taking time to, like, go out there and, like, do nothing and, like, try and find yourself and just, like, find out if your personality is.” -Pretty Liz
BONUS SKETCH: THE EPIC LOGOS OF THE SHOW OPENER