The Bachelorette Recap: JoJo Fletcher Gets Her First One-on-One – and We Officially Have This Season's Villain
Tensions were high as the men went on their first round of dates with Fletcher
We already didn’t like Chad because he brought a suitcase full of protein powder on the show, but this week, he took things to a whole new level by calling JoJo “naggy” and threatening to knock someone’s teeth out. He also befriended Daniel the weird Canadian, so he obviously can’t be trusted.
WELLS, WE’RE SO GLAD YOU’RE OKAY
Before we get into Chad, though, we need to talk about Wells, because the poor kid almost kicked the bucket on the first group date of the season.
The men were taken to a fire academy and forced to compete against each other in a series of firefighter drills, which 1) proved JoJo can look good in anything, even those pants and 2) seemed rather unfair because Grant is a professional firefighter.
This looked utterly miserable. Wells probably weighs less than the 80 lbs. of equipment he was wearing and almost fainted several times. Then, as if the poor guy hadn’t suffered enough already, he was selected as one of the three men to compete in the final challenge, which was to save JoJo from her (perfectly safe) perch at the top of a building. Spoiler alert: Grant won.
Other things that happened on the group date:
Daniel the weird Canadian made this joke, and we hate him: “The last time I’ve pulled hoses like that was back home when I was at my apartment.”
JoJo and Luke made out and it was super intense. Calling it now, Luke is going to be final three.
Wells got the group date rose, probably mainly because JoJo was just glad he made it out of there alive.
We learned that erectile dysfunction expert Evan has kids. We have so many questions.
Oh, and at some point while this group date was going on, Chad was back at the house doing pull-ups with his suitcase full of protein powder attached to himself as a weight belt. #JustChadThings.
ONE-ON-ONE WITH DEREK
JoJo’s date with Derek was sort of like a Choose Your Own Adventure Goosebumps book but way better because they got to choose things like which fabulous city they wanted their private jet to take them to.
They ended up in San Francisco, had a picnic on the water overlooking the Golden Gate bridge and bonded over the fact that both of them had been screwed over by their previous exes. (Looking at you, Ben Higgins.)
She ended up giving him the rose and they kissed. Derek is very cute but just the tiniest bit boring.
Meanwhile, back at the house Chad and Daniel the weird Canadian sat by the pool wearing matching black tank tops and talking s— about the other guys.
Chad made several terrible protein shake metaphors and said a lot of things that didn’t make sense, like how the nice guys are actually the bad guys and also, protein.
Chad to Daniel: “I knew you were cool the moment I met you.” Red flag no. 14.
WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT CHAD
For the second group date, JoJo proved she’s totally a guy’s girl that loves sports and took the men to the ESPN studios to meet SportsNation hosts Max Kellerman and Marcellus Wiley.
The guys – which included Chad, Jordan, Christian, Nick and James T. – were put through a series of silly challenges so that Max and Marcellus could power rank them.
So here’s the thing: Anyone who watches this show knows that the group dates – especially early on – are absolutely cheesy and ridiculous and require the contestants to essentially make fools of themselves. Chad, however, has clearly never watched this show.
One of the tasks at hand was to propose to JoJo with a giant fake ring, and this is where Chad really shot himself in the foot by refusing to list the qualities he loves about her and accusing her of being “naggy” when she called him out for his sh—y proposal.
He also put the rest of the guys on blast and made the entire date just generally uncomfortable for everyone, and at this point you’re probably thinking JoJo sent him home right then and there.
Well, you’re wrong, because while JoJo seemed taken aback, she “appreciated Chad’s honesty.” Then, during the evening portion of the date, Chad somehow ended up turning things around for himself by telling JoJo that he has a puppy and also that his mom passed away six months ago.
At this point JoJo was “seeing a more sensitive side” of Chad and also making out with him while everyone at home screamed at their TV.
But not all hope was lost: Chad thankfully didn’t end up getting the group date rose, with JoJo giving it to James T. instead. (He did read her that adorable note that made her cry, after all.)
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THE COCKTAIL PARTY
The next night, Chad decided to ambush JoJo outside before she had even entered the cocktail party. This was extremely sketchy and even JoJo seemed frightened when he emerged from the shadows, plus everyone got really pissed off when they walked into the living room together.
Thankfully, Chase stole JoJo away first and made it fake snow by the fireplace because he’s from Colorado and at this point we decided we love Chase. For a guy that didn’t get a date this week, he really crushed it.
While this was going on, the rest of the guys were freaking out about Chad and taking turns confronting him, sort of.
As Chad put it: “It was like if the Care Bears surrounded you and told you they were going to kick your ass.” Sad, but true.
Chad, meanwhile, really couldn’t have given less of a s— about any of this and was focusing on devouring enough food to feed an entire football team. Seriously, who eats that much lunchmeat in one sitting, or ever?
Whenever he wasn’t eating meat on a stick, Chad was regularly interrupting the other guys’ conversations with JoJo, which almost made Evan cry. Evan, it’s going to be okay. Just have a kebab and relax.
Finally, Alex stepped in to actually confront Chad about his behavior, at which point Chad lost it and threatened to knock Alex’s teeth out.
This was rather frightening and made us wish Alex was just a couple of inches taller, for his sake.
RELATED VIDEO: ‘The Bachelorette’ Recap: Why Is Season Villain Chad Eating All the Food?
THE ROSE CEREMONY
Since James T., Derek and Wells already had roses, JoJo had 14 left to hand out. She ended up sending home Will, Brandon and Bachelor superfan James S. Sad to see you go, James.
How did Daniel get a rose again? Damn you, ABC producers.
Actual quotes by Chad:
“She’s going to keep Alex around because she doesn’t want America to think that she hates short people.”
“Christian. Christian, I don’t even know who Christian is. Another short guy.”
“I will not write her a song about how much I love her. I’m going to have some protein shakes, keep working out, keep eating food, and just continue doing what I do.”
That’s all for now, folks. Stay tuned for next week’s two-episode special, which looks like it’s shaping up to be Chad is a psycho, part one and two.
The Bachelorette airs Mondays (8 p.m. ET) on ABC.