Also, Kaitlyn and Jade confront Chris with their hurt feelings over being sent home with no warning

By Amanda Michelle Steiner
March 02, 2015 10:00 PM
David Moir/ABC

If The Bachelor: Women Tell All special taught us anything, it’s that Chris Harrison makes a terrible referee.

The special opened with some truly epic squabbling between Britt and Carly – though Jillian also jumped in to defend Britt.

Just when it seemed as if the entire episode would be a series of high-pitched noises that only Whitney’s stuffed-animal-humping dog could hear, Harrison eventually got a handle on things and we got to hear from Britt, Kaitlyn, Jade, Ashley S. and, of course, Chris Soules himself.

Britt on The Bachelor: Women Tell All
David Moir/ABC

Confronted by Britt, Carly tried to defend her position and insist that Britt was fake, but it was basically like watching Ronda Rousey trump Cat Zingano all over again – Britt was always going to have it in the bag.

A truly beautiful crier, Britt told Carly that she wished her no ill will. She did get in one jab, though, when Carly kept trying to talk over her: “You’ve pretty much narrated my entire love story for the past three weeks, can I just talk?” (To be fair, Britt did her fair share of interrupting.)

Jillian, who was close friends with Britt in the house, also told Carly that her actions were “so insecure,” that the cruise ship singer’s “insecurity and jealousy just shines through” and that Britt is “the sweetest, most pure-hearted person.”

Talking to Harrison, Britt cried that she felt like she was “this close” to love. “You really think you could’ve ended up with him?” Chris asked her, to which she nodded, crying, still.

“I’m feeling like I’m grieving all over again,” Kelsey told Harrison of being sent home by Chris, going on to talk about her deceased husband and revealing that “this experience just really brought me back to the shock and despair [of losing Sanderson].”

Interjected Tara, “What despair? You said it was an amazing story.” Shots! Shots fired!

While some of the women were sympathetic toward Britt, Kelsey didn’t receive the same treatment – the contestants were just a sea of stormy, unimpressed faces.

Indeed, Kelsey is not totally lacking in self-awareness: “I’m looking at your faces, and many of you have a lot of contempt in your face, and so it’s clear that some of you just do not like me.”

She admitted how her alone time with Chris and her panic attack may have been misinterpreted as manipulative, but she insisted she was genuine.

Going on to defend her use of the word “amazing” to describe her story, Kelsey clarified that she was referring to the fact that she had found what she had thought “would be the love of the rest of my life. That’s amazing. And what’s amazing is that I had a husband who loved me and I loved him and we built a life together and then he died.”

She went on to use the word “amazing” several thousand more times, and it continued to be a truly disastrous choice of words from The Bachelor‘s resident wordsmith, but her point was a little more clear this time: “What is also amazing is that I am healing. I survived that.”

I hear ya, Kelsey. You’re a little intense, and you’re a little weird, and sometimes you use your “big words” wrong, but that’s okay. You do you, you grieve how you grieve.

Kelsey also shamed Ashley I. for calling her a “black widow” and for saying that she made up Sanderson’s story. (To be fair, Ashley I.’s reaction was admittedly the reaction of many Bachelor watchers, though we had Google on our side where Kardashley did not.)

Bless Ashley S.’s weird little heart. Harrison invited her up on stage following a taped montage which included a scene of her chopping wood while Chris, in a voiceover, shared with true fear in his voice: “The ultimate goal in coming here is to get married and hopefully not be murdered in my sleep by a crazy woman.”

Ashley S. gifted Chris with an onion, which she said she actually grew herself. Of course she did.

“What are you?” asked a perplexed Harrison. “I like to ride bikes,” Ashley S. said. “And I mean, this is me. Like, I think with the cameras around it’s really hard for me to not be silly. So, while all them were getting upset and crying, I was outside picking pomegranates.”

Someone please give her a reality show.

Harrison tried to make her promise to join Bachelor in Paradise, and as she stared blankly into Harrison’s face, the audience began to chant “do it, do it, do it.”

“It’s so weird,” she finally said. “What is?” Harrison asked.

“Just that we’re on TV.”

Ashley S., ladies and gentlemen. May she find someone to love and with whom to farm onions on Bachelor in Paradise this summer.

Poor Jade. She was still very upset and confused by Chris choosing to send her home, especially following the reveal of her Playboy past.

(By the way, Harrison referred to Jade’s Playboy pictorial as her “sexy X-rated secret,” yikes!)

Also, she gave a shout-out to Chris’s PEOPLE blog, in which he wrote that he was “disturbed” by his hometown date with her because she seemed shy and sweet with him and was described as a “wild mustang” by her weird brothers.

“That absolutely crushed me,” she said. (Don’t worry, girl, we’re Team Jade.)

Kaitlyn on The Bachelor: Women Tell All
David Moir/ABC

Kaitlyn, too, was confused – she felt like things were going great between herself and Chris and that putting her through a rose ceremony this late in the game was harsh. “Why couldn’t he have given me one little sign that maybe I wasn’t the one?”

Chris and Britt hugged for an uncomfortably long time when the man of the hour hit the stage.

Britt told him that she understood why he sent her home given the information he had received from Carly; however, he told her that what Carly said had nothing to do with sending her home: “My decision was based on our journey together and our relationship.” Ouch.

It should be noted that, during Chris’s exchange with Britt, the camera panned often to Carly’s tearful, disbelieving face. She did not get a chance to speak with Chris. We wonder if Britt thought it was “fun to watch her squirm“?

Anyway, Britt continued to be a beautiful crier and just wanted to tell Chris that she had never felt that way around another person ever before and that whomever he chooses is “super lucky.”

Britt was a pretty polarizing figure among the Bachelor Nation, but we think she was pretty sincere – as much as anyone entering the Bachelor machine could be, that is, and certainly more so than Carly, Kelsey and Kardashley. Just saying.

To Kaitlyn, Chris had no real closure to offer. “There’s really no true explanation,” he said. “At that point in the journey I was literally falling in love with three women and you’re kind throwing darts at a dartboard in the dark.” Double ouch.

He apologized, though, and admitted that he could have handled sending her home a little better. Chris, too, was as sincere as it gets – he really did appear genuinely sorrowful to have hurt these women. As sweet and simple a donut as ever.

When Jade confronted Chris about his PEOPLE blog (again, shout-out! Also, sorry, Jade), he apologized once again. ” ‘Caught off guard’ may be the better way to put it,” he said, instead of the word “disturbed.”

“I didn’t make the decision because of what you showed me,” he told Jade. “I was completely honest with you and my reaction and my opinion were true and real.”

Poor girl, though, seriously – that spread (sorry) has given her a complex for life. “I was revealing something that has ruined relationships for me before and if you thought it was awkward, all you had to have done was be honest back and I would’ve been okay,” she said.

In any case, Chris apologized again and while many of the ladies left with less closure than they would have liked – everybody except for Britt, really – it was clear that none of the contestants necessarily blamed him. Maybe that’s what made being sent home worse – how kind he’s been throughout this whole process.

Next week, Farmer Chris chooses a wife. (Or not. But probably. There’s no way he’s not proposing, right?)

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