Also, two girls are cut in a dramatic elimination
Credit: Nicholas Maggio

We’re almost at the finish line, Bachelor Nation.

On Monday’s episode, Chris Soules visited four hometowns. In true Bachelor fashion, however, the most interesting events happened while the girls were still all in one place, trash-talking each other.

Also, two girls were sent home in advance of the hometown dates – yes, they’re probably the ones you’d assume.

Britt’s Breakdown Backlash

Following the events from Sunday’s episode – in which Britt broke down after realizing she wasn’t the only contestant in the competition for Chris’s heart – Britt decided that she was going to leave.

The girls were incredulous, of course, convinced that she just wanted Chris to convince her to stay. They weren’t exactly wrong; upon being told by host Chris Harrison that there would be no cocktail party prior to the rose ceremony, Britt realized that she had probably run out of chances. She took Chris aside anyway to apologize for her behavior.

However, Chris wasn’t having it, telling her that she put him in a “really tough position.” Still not having learned the rules of talking behind other people’s backs, Chris rolled on the other girls, telling Britt that they told him she was lying about her experience in Arlington.

Britt figured out that Carly was behind this, and questioned why “she has something against me.” (Because Carly’s own insecurities manifest into a green-eyed jealousy of everyone around her and a possessiveness of a man who is not hers?)

“The way Carly reacted is what I want in my future,” Chris told Britt, “and the way you reacted and disrespected myself and everyone around you was something that I don’t want for a wife.” Who knew that sweet, simple Chris could get that harsh?

At that, Chris walked Britt out of the house. She seemed pretty sincere in her sadness, sobbing on camera that she thought Carly was her friend. “It’s fun to watch her squirm,” Carly said in an interview. “I’ve squirmed so much. The girl who was the prettiest girl in the room gets to know how it feels to be a normal person … how’s it feel?”

Keep squirming, Carly. She got cut during the rose ceremony. (And that, ladies, is the karmic punishment you receive for treating other women awfully.)

Becca’s Family Does Her No Favors in Shreveport, Louisiana

And now, the hometown dates. These were all pretty rote, but let’s go through them quickly.

Becca still hadn’t told Chris that she’s a virgin, and her family acted so weird about the fact that she brought a man home that Chris may never want to visit again.

Her sister might as well have been holding a neon sign above her head that blinked “VIRGIN” in block letters, but, luckily, Chris had no real idea what she was on about. All the talk about Becca not letting people in, however, did send up one red flag: Chris was worried about whether she’d be able to get to that intimate place with him. (Emotionally speaking. Don’t be gross.)

Later that night, Chris and Becca rode an empty Ferris wheel, and her reaction to it was incredibly disproportionate to the situation. Girl loves Ferris wheels.

Whitney Gives Chris a Tour of the "Specimen Room" in Chicago

Whitney’s family, too, seemed to forget that her time spent away was on a reality dating competition.

Given that her father is MIA and her mother died nearly 10 years ago from a routine surgery gone wrong, Chris met Whitney’s sister, brother-in-law, uncle and grandmother.

Chris wanted Whitney’s sister’s approval should he decide to propose, but Kimberly wouldn’t hand it over unless Chris could tell her that Whitney was the only one for him, which obviously he could not do given that he was currently engaged in a bizarre polyamorous relationship.

Later, Whitney dropped the L-word on Chris.

Kaitlyn and Chris Do Not Go to Canada

Instead of her native small town in Alberta, Kaitlyn took Chris to Phoenix, Arizona, where her parents spend the winters. (Smart people.)

The date started off in a way that almost had me turning off the television in secondhand embarrassment. Kaitlyn brought Chris to a recording studio, as if the first time we heard him sing wasn’t bad enough, and the two wrote and recorded a rap song. Chris knew he was terrible, though, and was a good sport about it. I, however, needed to leave the planet.

Kaitlyn’s parents were pretty benign; they love Kaitlyn, want the best for her, don’t break her heart, etc. It was a much more fun atmosphere compared to Whitney’s dire hometown visit. Kaitlyn also told Chris that she loved him, in her way: She arranged for a sign to read out “Kaitlyn ❤ Chris." Then they smooched. Simple, but effective.

In Nebraska, Jade Finally Tells Chris About Her Playboy Pictorial

Finally – Jade told Chris about her nude spread (ahem) for Playboy.

Chris’s time spent with Jade’s family felt very weird – one of her brothers called her a “wild mustang,” which puzzled Chris, who has only known her as a shy, soft-spoken girl.

Poor Jade was so insecure about having posed for Playboy. “If Chris decides he doesn’t want to be with me because of this, it will be devastating. … Either he accepts this and we can move forward or he doesn’t and it’s pretty much over for us.”

Sitting down for their little chat, Chris told Jade about her brother calling her a “wild mustang” and she seemed a bit caught out. That’s when she made her confession; she even pulled out her computer to show him the pictures, which felt odd, but whatever makes you comfortable, girl.

Chris had absolutely no idea where to look or how to control his facial expression, which looked approximately 0.01 seconds away from breaking out into a full giggle. “Oh, there it is,” and “Oh, man” were some of his reactions.

That said, he was very, very supportive and sweet, though he did admit in an interview that he’d “never have expected this to be a part of her past.”

Jade, anxious, asked for his opinion. “I judge you for the person you are,” he responded, adding, “You are a beautiful woman, and it’s not something I feel would affect our relationship in any way. I know you for who you are as a person, and I respect you.”

Overwhelmed, Jade thanked him, but he wasn’t finished: “I’m looking to fall in love with a person, not their career or certain things they’ve done in their past they might not be proud of.” Jade was utterly, charmingly pleased by his positive reaction.

“I saw her out of her shell. Completely out of her shell,” Chris joked (too soon) in an interview, before acknowledging her photo shoot would create some “challenges” in Arlington, but “I would stand behind her no matter what’s out there on the Internet. That goes without question.” Chris, you kind little donut!

Unfortunately for Jade, however, she got the axe at the rose ceremony. Poor Jade. Chris, however, insisted it had nothing to do with her Playboy pictorial. Just Whitney, Kaitlyn and Becca remain!

Also Worth Noting

• Did anyone else hear Kaitlyn say “get out,” but pronounce “out” as “oot”? Incredible!

• Before now, I thought that Whitney wasn’t a lot of fun, but she sure does have a lot of sperm-related humor up her sleeve.

• Jade really is a Disney princess – the girl was crying over Carly’s departure, worried about how she was feeling.

• Carly was feeling pretty awful, by the way, crying in the limousine over what could possibly be wrong with her. “I think I deserve someone who loves me for all of me and freaking wants me! Like, why is it so hard to want me? Why? I don’t understand. What’s wrong with me that … I always end up in the exact same place.” I’m sad. I need to go lie down. Carly, look within – gain some confidence and worry about yourself before worrying about what other people are thinking and doing and saying.

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