Chris Soules's 'Bachelor' Blog: 'Come on People, It Was Just a Tush!'

Soules talks a "crazy" game of Truth or Dare and the "last straw" with one controversial contestant

Photo: David Moir/ABC

Chris Soules is the Bachelor! After a bittersweet exit from Andi Dorfman’s season of The Bachelorette, the farmer from Arlington, Iowa, is searching for love once again on ABC’s hit franchise. Chris, 33, will be blogging for every week about the women, the dates and the difficult decisions he’ll make on his journey to love. So check back each week, and follow Chris on Twitter.

I’d probably say it wasn’t until my fourth week as the Bachelor that I finally felt like I’d stopped dreaming and that this was actually happening. I wanted my first date that week to be something I normally do, and as a big fan of the outdoors, camping has always been a huge part of my life. Now, I don’t think the girls would have ever expected to spend a night in the wilderness when they signed up for mansion life, so it was really important for me to see who could roll with the punches and just be natural.

Driving up to the lake in our vintage cars was so much fun. But every time I looked over at the other car – the one that was being driven by Megan – the darn thing was all over the road. Megan, you’re a great girl. And a terrible driver.

Arriving at the lake, I could tell that most of the girls were really excited to let loose. I had no idea that Kelsey was so miserable. She put on a very brave face whenever she was around me, and I totally thought she was having fun. If I had known she felt like she was in a “hellhole” I would have never asked her to come on the date. At the very least, she wouldn’t have gotten stung by a bee on the, uh, “upper thigh.” In contrast, Kaitlyn was clearly having a blast.

Now, I know there’s been a lot of reaction to Kaitlyn’s little mooning trick off the dock, but what you don’t know is that the whole group of us was playing Truth or Dare. She was dared to do that and took on the challenge, as did Ashley I. with her bikini top. It’s a classic camping game, and it was all in good fun. Come on people, it was just a tush!

Back at the house, my incredible sisters showed up to meet the girls who stayed back. My sisters Lori and Lisa both live in the Chicago area, but Jaci flew all the way from Ireland just to meet these girls. I should take this opportunity to explain to you what a huge influence my sisters have had on my life. I learned everything I know, especially about women, from them. They’re all successful, smart, beautiful, and they’re great wives and mothers. I think one of the reasons I’m still single is because I’m constantly trying to find women who live up to the examples they’ve set for me, and that’s not easy to find. They’re truly phenomenal women.

Back in the wilderness, things were getting a little crazy. The whiskey was flowing and the full moon was out. And I’m not just talking about Kaitlyn’s bum. Speaking of a little crazy, let’s talk about Ashley S. Everyone keeps asking me about her. Truth is, the week before she had been totally normal, and I was excited that night to really get to know her better. Whether it was the full moon or the camping vibe, something brought out Ashley S.’s, uh, “eccentric” side. When we did sit down to talk, she tried to have a deep conversation with me. The only problem was that I had absolutely no idea what she was saying. And then she told me she loved me. Yeah, that was uncomfortable. I honestly didn’t know how to respond. I wasn’t really flattered because I knew what she was saying wasn’t true; it was the full moon talking! That conversation was definitely the last straw in my relationship with Ashley S.

Around the campfire, everyone was having a good time. I had even brought a little portable hot tub to heat things up a little, but unfortunately the rangers wouldn’t let me light it. So, the hot tub was more of a cold tub. Regardless, I spent some quality time with the women that night, and when it came time to hand out the rose, I didn’t know what to do. As usual, I went with my heart. I know some of the girls were irritated because Kaitlyn had just gone on a one-on-one date with me the week before, but I was just trying to be real and do what felt right.

Later that night, I was shocked when Ashley I. snuck into my tent. I was deep in sleep. That’s the thing about being the Bachelor. People come knocking at all hours, and you can’t exactly tell them you’re tired and you’ll call them in the morning. Now, maybe I was a little foggy from a night of drinking whiskey around the campfire, but I did not get what Ashley I. was trying to tell me. Here’s a little lesson for you ladies: Men are pretty simple when it comes to words. If you have something to tell us, like say, I don’t know, that you’re a virgin, just tell us! Spell it out for us. Maybe even write it down so we don’t forget it. We don’t work well with subtlety. If she had just come right out and told me, she would have avoided a lot of the anxiety she felt the rest of the week.

The next day I had a surprise Cinderella date with the girl my sisters chose. I legitimately had no idea who they were going to pick. What you didn’t get to see was that my sisters actually came over to my place and told me about their meetings with the girls. They told me their opinions on all the women, and their words resonated with me throughout my whole journey. It was a pretty emotional conversation.

Another thing you didn’t get to see was that I had private waltz lessons leading up to this date. I’m a farmer. I don’t dance the waltz. I don’t go to royal balls. I farm s—. Thankfully, my dance instructor was pretty darn patient, and after a couple hour-long lessons, I had the simple steps down. I was still pretty nervous that I was going to mess it up, so I insisted on having just about anyone who walked by (female and male) practice with me.

When I saw Jade at the top of that staircase, I couldn’t help but smile. The girl truly looked like a fairytale princess. I was thrilled that my sisters chose her because she was someone I really wanted to get to know better. I realized that night what a sweet girl she was, and we definitely had a connection. Dancing with her in that ballroom, with the Los Angeles Chamber Orchestra playing the soundtrack to Cinderella was probably one of the most romantic moments of my life. We totally nailed that dance, even on that small platform! I was really worried I was going to take a wrong step and fall off and kill one of those musicians! But I didn’t. Instead, I transformed from Prince Farming into Prince Charming, and Jade was my perfect princess. But before we knew it, the clock struck midnight, and she had to leave. I wonder what she would have turned into if she hadn’t left on time?

The next day, I was really excited to meet the girls in San Francisco for the MuckFest MS Muck Run. I love any type of competition, especially when it raises money for a good cause. The girls looked adorable in their wedding dresses and, even though it was all in fun, seeing them in those gowns made me realize I might be walking down the aisle with one of them one day! That was crazy.

Prior to the race, I took off my beloved Hugo Boss dress shoes and threw on some running shoes. Unfortunately, that was the last time I saw those shoes. I accidentally left them there in the parking lot. If anyone has my boat-sized Hugo Boss shoes, send them off to Arlington, Iowa. They’ll make it back to my place, no problem. And I’ll owe you one! Enough about my lost footwear. So as soon as the race began, we all quickly realized none of us stood a chance against Jillian’s athleticism. Jillian had it in the bag. So I decided to take the opportunity to help some of the girls out and to get to know them better. Becca and I had a great chat and felt an instant connection, and that was the moment I knew she was going to be around for a long time. Spoiler? Stay tuned.

I was truly looking forward to my one-on-one date with Jillian. It was an incredible setting there at the Fairmont. Apparently even a number of Presidents have stayed in that particular suite, including President Kennedy, who may have snuck out the secret library door to spend time with a special someone. Too cool! Sadly, sitting down at dinner with Jillian, something just didn’t feel right. We were in one of the most romantic settings I’d ever been, overlooking the beautiful San Francisco skyline, and honestly I just wasn’t feeling it. I’m not sure if it’s because I couldn’t get a word in edgewise, or if it was because the chemistry was just not there, but I knew in my gut that Jillian wasn’t the one for me. I couldn’t in good conscience give her that rose. Saying goodbye to her was not easy, but I’d have been lying to both of us if I had kept her around. I know Jillian felt like she wishes she’d opened up more, but it wasn’t even that. The two of us were just not meant to be, and I’m sure she’ll find someone perfect for her. And that person could probably bench press me!

At the cocktail party before the rose ceremony things felt weird. There was tension in the air, Phil Collins-style. First, Ashley I. came out and told me she was a virgin. I was not expecting that. I definitely didn’t realize that’s what she was trying to get at during our camping conversation. The truth is though, it didn’t bother me that she’s a virgin. I actually respect it. Obviously intimacy is a very important part of any relationship, but I would never judge someone – nor would I make my decision of whom to date – based on someone’s virginity status.

The hardest part of that night was obviously my conversation with Britt. As you could tell, I was caught off guard and quite literally speechless. I felt like I was being attacked for going with my gut. I really wish the girls hadn’t judged me based on my relationships with the other girls and would just focus on the relationship I had with them individually. That’s why in my speech at the end of the evening, I told them that if they questioned my intentions, they were free to leave. Thankfully, nobody did. And maybe I overreacted a little, but it really did hurt to have my integrity questioned.

Finally, it was difficult to say goodbye to Nikki, and especially to Juelia, but as soon as I knew there wasn’t that connection with Juelia, I wanted her to be back with her daughter. As for Ashley S., I really wanted to give her the benefit of the doubt, but since she felt “nothing,” I know I made the right decision.

Next week things get a little nutty. One woman I already sent home comes back. One woman almost gets naked right in front of me. And one woman actually passes out! It’s crazy!!!


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