“We never planned on my getting pregnant again so soon after [Jayde] was born,” Bookout writes. “Maverick was totally unexpected. When I found out I was pregnant, Jayde was still a baby.”
The reality star was juggling her newborn daughter, her oldest son Bentley, filming for a new season of Teen Mom OG and a new clothing line when she discovered she was expecting once again.
“Bentley was just getting settled in school and starting to play sports,” she writes. “All I could think was, ‘How am I going to handle all of this? There’s not going to be enough of me to go around.’ “
“It took me a couple of months to wrap my mind around the change,” Bookout admits. “It helped that Taylor and Bentley were very excited about the baby, but if truth be told I was terrified.”
“His pediatrician prescribed him medicine to reduce stomach acidity and help relieve the pain, but every time we gave it to him he would push it out with his tongue or he would get so upset that he would throw the medicine right back up,” Bookout revealed.
The star told PEOPLE in April that she and McKinney were done having kids biologically but would still consider adoption.
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“We’ve both have talked about adoption or fostering in the future, down the road, but we’re not [having kids] biologically,” Bookout told PEOPLE. “For both of us, it’s one of those things where if we are capable of providing a stable home, healthy relationships and some hope for a child who may not have that or ever experienced it, then we want to.”
“If we are able to do that then why would we not?” she added. “Plus, I think introducing our children to something like that and giving them that experience and for other child to be able to have a sibling or healthy relationships with other children … all kids deserve that. If we can give it to them then why wouldn’t we?”
I Wasn’t Born Bulletproof: Lessons I’ve Learned (So You Don’t Have To) is out now.