The reality star welcomed her fourth child, son Creed, on July 30
Kailyn Lowry
| Credit: Jamie McCarthy/Getty

When it comes to sharing her life on Teen Mom 2, Kailyn Lowry doesn't hold back.

Ahead of the return of the hit MTV reality show, Lowry opens up to PEOPLE about the moment she's most nervous to watch back in the upcoming season.

"The first half of the season, I had a really, really, really hard time with my pregnancy and just trying to keep it a secret," she says. "So I was struggling with that."

Lowry, 28, reveals that at one point, she considered getting an abortion — something she openly discusses on camera.

"I just didn't know if I was going to have this baby or terminate the pregnancy," she says. "I went to an abortion appointment. I definitely talked about that."

Lowry explains that while she always knew she wanted another child, the "circumstances" she was facing weren't quite what she imagined. The reality star and her youngest child's father, Chris Lopez, have had an on-off relationship for years.

And while she knows she might face some criticism for sharing her story, she hopes fans will understand the complexities of the situation.

"I'm just nervous that people are going to be like, 'Why would you ever admit that you did that on TV for everyone to see?'" she says. "Not everything is black and white, not everything is cut and dry. So I hope that people understand the thought process and the pain that I was going through."

kailyn lowry
Credit: kailyn lowry/instagram

Lowry welcomed her fourth child, a baby boy named Creed, on July 30.

The little one joins big brothers Isaac Elliot, 10, Lincoln Marshall, 6, and Lux Russell, 2. (Lowry shares Isaac with ex Jo Rivera, Lincoln with ex Javi Marroquin, and Lux and Creed with Lopez.)

Despite the difficult pregnancy, Lowry says she's happy with her decision.

"I'm happy he's here," she says. "I love him so much."

As for her relationship with Lopez, Lowry says the two don't have "any communication."

"I just want to focus on trying to parent four kids by myself, because clearly, I don't have his help in that," she says.

Teen Mom 2 returns to MTV on Tuesday at 8 p.m. ET.