Teen Mom 2's Kailyn Lowry Says 'Abortion Wasn't for Me' After Seeing Son Creed's Ultrasound
The MTV star welcomed her fourth son, Creed, on July 30
On Tuesday night's episode of Teen Mom 2, the 28-year-old reality star shared her disbelief of being pregnant again, admitting she hadn't told her three sons, Isaac, 10, Lincoln, 6, and Lux, 3, that they were going to be big brothers. (Lowry shares Isaac with ex Jo Rivera, Lincoln with ex Javi Marroquin, and Lux and Creed with ex Chris Lopez.)
"I still don’t believe that I’m pregnant," Lowry told MTV cameras in the episode. "I did consider abortion. I went to my abortion appointment but I had the ultrasound. I was just like, 'I need to see the ultrasound to see if I connect with this baby.' "
Ultimately, Lowry decided against having an abortion after seeing her baby move around in the ultrasound.
"At that point, I just decided that abortion wasn’t for me," she said.
Lowry broke down on camera as she discussed her decision, saying, "It’s kind of been like a weird time. I truly can’t picture it. I never felt this way about a pregnancy."
"When I got pregnant with Lux, I never even thought twice about keeping him," she continued. "Now moving forward, this is the decision that I’ve made, to keep this baby and I just need to put on my big girl pants and figure it out."
Lowry revealed she'd told Marroquin and Rivera about her pregnancy saying both were "very supportive," including Rivera's wife Vee Torres.
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"I actually felt worse and more guilty now with this pregnancy and questioning if I’m doing the right thing more so with this one at 27 than I did with Isaac at 17," Lowry said, admitting the "circumstances" between the two pregnancies "are very, very, very different."
"I think once I told Jo and Javi it was a huge weight off my shoulders," she told MTV cameras. "I think the pain [of this pregnancy] just comes from everything that happened around my pregnancy and the thought of maybe not keeping the baby. People are not going to understand and I have to be okay with that because these are decisions that were up to me. I have to be okay with the backlash and misunderstandings."
Lowry added she was "thankful" for the support shown to her by Marroquin and Rivera. The MTV star welcomed Creed on July 30.
The mom of four told PEOPLE in August she "had a really, really, really hard time" with her pregnancy "and just trying to keep it a secret" from cameras.
"I was struggling with that," she said, adding she was nervous for people to see her consider an abortion.
"I'm just nervous that people are going to be like, 'Why would you ever admit that you did that on TV for everyone to see?' " she says. "Not everything is black and white, not everything is cut and dry. So I hope that people understand the thought process and the pain that I was going through."
Despite the difficult pregnancy, Lowry said she's happy with her decision.
"I'm happy he's here," she said. "I love him so much."
As for her relationship with Lopez, Lowry said the two don't have "any communication."
"I just want to focus on trying to parent four kids by myself, because clearly, I don't have his help in that," she said.
Teen Mom 2 airs on MTV Tuesdays at 8 p.m. ET.