"I have been battling mental health for some time now, and let me tell y'all [it] is not a joke," said the singer and reality star

By Aurelie Corinthios
September 22, 2020 11:03 AM

Tamar Braxton is on a path to better herself.

A little over two months after reports emerged that she had been found unresponsive in her Los Angeles hotel room, the singer, 43, thanked God for giving her a "second chance" in a lengthy Instagram post on Monday.

Braxton, who has confirmed that she attempted suicide after suffering "pain" for the past decade while working in the entertainment industry, said this week that she has been struggling with her mental health "for some time now."

"God thank you for saving me! You know my true heart," she began. "Despite what the world may think of me, you kept me here for a reason. You are a God of second chances, and this second chance I won't take for granted. The world can often be a dark place but I must resort to you for my light."

"Ladies, have you ever felt like you put all your time and love into your children, job, relationship and family but often forgot to love yourself? That is where I have been for the past few years," she continued. "I believe I have put a lot of time and effort in loving and giving myself my all to everything else but myself. I have allowed myself to stay in toxic situations including work environments."

Tamar Braxton
| Credit: David Livingston/Getty Images

"I've allowed my talents to be used for the wrong reasons. I have allowed myself to be used in too many 'angry black girl narratives.' I'm not angry at all," she added. "I have been battling mental health for some time now, and let me tell y'all [it] is not a joke. Nor is it a reason for anyone to call you 'crazy.' I am praying for anyone that is on this same battle."

Braxton, whose new docuseries is currently airing on WE tv, said she wants to "personally fight for brown girls to have more ownership and not just be a slave to the industry."

"Black women are the unvalued and unprotected," she wrote. "I am on a never ending battle to be the best Tamar Braxton I can be. God has brought me through a lot so I would like to pass it on to use my voice to help brown women and ALL women in these similar situations. We all have the opportunity to evolve. For [sic] now on it's me vs. me."

Braxton's post comes two weeks after the premiere of Tamar Braxton: Get Ya Life!, which explores her journey with motherhood, love and her career as she records a new album. (She shares 7-year-old son Logan with ex-husband Vince Herbert.)

The six-episode WE tv series was originally scheduled to premiere on July 30 but was postponed after Braxton's hospitalization. The rescheduled Sep. 10 premiere coincided with another troubling development in the star's life: Her now-ex boyfriend David Adefeso, whom she previously credited with saving her life after her suicide attempt, recently filed for a restraining order against her. In a lengthy video posted on his YouTube channel, the businessman detailed an alleged physical altercation between the two that prompted him to contact police. Braxton, through her rep, did not comment.

David Adefeso and Tamar Braxton
| Credit: Earl Gibson III/Getty Images

On last week's episode of Get Ya Life!, Braxton's frustration with being portrayed as an "angry Black woman" on her shows was set off after her creative coach, Goli Samii, suggested they visit a rage/wreck room. "That's for angry people. I'm not mad at or about anything," she insisted. "Y'all want me to be an angry Black woman? Do I have to be an angry Black woman in every f---ing series?"

The white male executive producer, Michael Beck, expressed that that wasn't his or Samii's intent. "I can't shoot a show where people are going to think I'm, on camera, trying to tear Black women down," he said. "And that's what was just implied."

"Let me tell you just my experience — I don't think it's coming from you," Braxton told him. Then, turning directly to the camera, she called out the "ignorance" of the industry.

"I think it's coming from TV and the ignorance that I've been talking about all of this time," she said. "Every Black person don't want to fight. Every Black girl don't want to fight each other. I ain't throwing no drinks in nobody's face, I'm not fighting my sisters, I'm not fighting them girls from The Real, I'm not fighting nobody but the devil. How about that?"

"I can't do the ignorance anymore," she said. "I don't want to watch it on TV, and I don't want to be a part of it."

Tamar Braxton: Get Ya Life! airs Thursdays (9 p.m. ET) on WE tv.

If you are experiencing domestic violence, call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233, or go to thehotline.org. All calls are toll-free and confidential. The hotline is available 24/7 in more than 170 languages.

If you or someone you know is considering suicide, please contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255), text "STRENGTH" to the Crisis Text Line at 741-741 or go to suicidepreventionlifeline.org.

If you or someone you know need mental health help, text "STRENGTH" to the Crisis Text Line at 741-741 to be connected to a certified crisis counselor.