Stephen Fishbach's 'Survivor' Blog: A Bromance Is Prematurely Snuffed Out

The Survivor: Tocantins runner-up says, "If you would like to keep your precious flame / Never, ever say that you're secure"

Published on March 26, 2015 10:10 AM

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Stephen Fishbach was the runner-up on Survivor: Tocantins and has been blogging about Survivor strategy for PEOPLE since 2009. Follow him on Twitter @stephenfishbach.

"In Survivor, a pair is extremely important, and if you have someone, just one person that you know you can trust 100 percent, that you can go really far in the game." – Chelsea Meisner, Survivor: One World

A glooming peace this morning with it brings.
The sun for sorrow will not show his head;
Two lovers felt the wrath of Jeff Probst‘s stings,
One torch snuffed out and an alliance dead.
Never was a tale more deeply flawed
Than that of Joaquin and of his Rod.

“I’m waiting for a bromance,” Rodney planned.
Then came Joaquin; he hailed from the East Coast!
Though one’s a Yankee, one’s a Red Sox fan,
They’re both chill homies and they like to boast.
The two best buddies start to jibe and talk.
“Bro, bro, bro. This is gonna work,” says Joaq.

Together they decide to blindside Joe,
Who’s just too handsome to stay on the scene.
The mem’ry challenge they resolve to throw,
Then loop Sierra into their mad scheme.
“This is gonna be a walk in the park,”
They say – which is a dangerous remark.

You readers, who have hope to play the game,
And dream of strategies to long endure,
If you would like to keep your precious flame,
Never, ever say that you’re secure.
The Survivor gods will hear your boastful bluff,
And send Jeff Probst to end you with a smuff.

Witness Max Dawson, in last episode,
Who said he couldn’t wait for a blindside,
He talked too much, was warty like a toad,
And couldn’t see that the No Collars lied.
Now he cools his heels at Ponderosa,
Wishing he were a next-gen Omarosa.

Mike wins the Fishy for his epic move
The biggest move so far of Worlds Apart.
He sees how Joaq and Rodney are in love,
And Joaq is playing to Sierra’s heart.
His ally Kelly on Nagarote,
Needs his help in order to be okay.

Mike throws the challenge without much discussion
He acts like he can’t recognize a jug,
Poor Kelly – who has just had a concussion,
And still has stitches all across her mug,
Just can’t remember where her pieces go
Until Mike walks her through the challenge flow.

Some say that you should never throw a game,
That losing challenges is beyond thought,
But I believe there isn’t any shame
In throwing a challenge to help your plot.
Survivor is about strategic thinking,
Not who can memorize without blinking.

Mike knows he needs to calm Sierra’s fears.
He, Joe, and Dan urgently need her vote.
Dan tells her, “Close your mouth, open your ears,
And watch.” Not the most deferential quote.
But the three allies try to make the case
That together they’ll win this barrel race.

Mike split the newly forming power pair,
Before they could make a big power move.
He kept his ally Kelly from a scare,
And even got Sierra to approve.
With that one conversation by the water
He sent poor love-struck Joaquin to the slaughter.

And what of the romance of Joaq and Roddy?
They both loved girls and wouldn’t settle down.
Rod said, “I don’t care about anybody
Else, bro.” But now Joaq will not be around.
Since poor Rodney’s lost his heart’s desire,
Next episode will he light camp on fire?

Survivor: Worlds Apart airs Wednesdays (8 p.m. ET) on CBS.