Stacy London is a pro at styling other people, but she actually has trouble finding clothes that she feels she looks good in.
“I can see and envision what somebody should be wearing the minute I meet them. I can’t do the same thing with myself, and that’s because I’ve had body dysmorphia my whole life,” the stylist, 46, reveals on a special episode of Love, Lust or Run this Thursday.
London’s body dysmorphic disorder was complicated further when she was teased by her classmates for having psoriasis, a skin disease that can cause scaly rashes.
“I was diagnosed very early in my life … and that made me feel very self-conscious at a very, very young age,” she says on the episode. “I was kind of covered in scales, and we all know how mean kids can be at 11. [Kids were] leaving notes in my locker and telling me that I looked like the Elephant Man, that I was contagious and I should leave school.”
The former What Not to Wear host says that she even avoided her own reflection for a while.
“I didn’t want to look in the mirror, and so when I look in the mirror, a lot of times what I see is kind of not necessarily objective,” she explains.
Later in life, London found a treatment that help cleared her skin and ultimately became interested in style professionally.
“Eventually I found this kind of miracle topical steroid that cleared up my skin miraculously after two years, and I found myself gravitating towards fashion,” she says. “Fashion magazines and the industry seemed so perfect and sparkly and glittery and shiny, and I just decided that that’s where I wanted to be.”
RELATED VIDEO: 5 Ways to Upgrade Your Outfit Instantly
Love, Lust or Run: Stacy Revealed airs Thursday at 9 p.m. ET on TLC.