'Sister Wives' ' Christine Brown Admits She Knew She 'Would Break Hearts' Over Decision to Leave Kody

"I just think that God's fine if I just want to be happy," Christine Brown said during Sunday's episode of Sister Wives

Christine Brown
Photo: Puddle Monkey Prods/Kobal/Shutterstock

Christine Brown knew some people would be hurt by her decision to leave her plural marriage to her longtime husband, Kody Brown.

During Sunday's episode of Sister Wives, Christine, 49, opened up to host Sukanya Krishnan in a one-on-one conversation about how her choice to leave the marriage has impacted others. Sukanya, in particular, pointed out how "sad" Robyn Brown was by her decision.

"It's not fun breaking people's hearts," Christine said. "I mean, at my core, I just want people to be happy and I just want people to feel loved. But I knew I was making a decision that would break hearts and it tore me apart. And it was super, super sad."

Asked where she currently stands with Kody, Christine said: "Kody and I are divorced. We're completely separate."

At one point, Christine recalled how she once believed herself to be a "basement wife" who didn't matter as much. Christine also said she felt as if she "chose to be weaker" at the time and ultimately put herself in that situation.

Christine Brown, Kody Brown
Puddle Monkey Prods/Kobal/Shutterstock

"I chose to just let it happen and I chose to be weaker. I just did," she explained. "Every single day of my life, I wake up and I have a choice to make if I'm in a situation like that. And in the end, I would love to just be strong and be like, 'No, no, no, no,' and just cause more contention. ... Or, I can just go, 'Okay, okay. That's fine, that's fine, that's fine,' and make it easier. But then, in the end, I lose myself. The cost is me."

"I put everybody first most of the time. I put whatever Kody needed [first]," she continued. "I was like, 'I can be the peacemaker here. What do you need? What does Janelle [Brown] need? What does Meri [Brown] need? What do all the kids need?' It left me running on empty and I asked [Kody] for help. I'm like, 'I can't do this anymore.' He was like, 'You're just changing all the agreements.' I said, 'I'm overwhelmed.' And he couldn't help."

RELATED VIDEO: Sister Wives' Christine Brown Splits from Kody Brown After 25 Years: We've 'Grown Apart'

Christine also admitted she no longer holds the same religious beliefs as her family. The Browns are members of the Apostolic United Brethren, which is a Mormon group that practices polygamy.

"In our church, polygamous women can leave. They're not trapped. They can leave if they want to leave and if it's not working," she explained. "They have to go through proper channels and stuff, but then they can get a release. I haven't been a member of that church for a long time and I left a long time ago."

Added Christine, "I just think that God's fine if I just want to be happy."

Meanwhile, Kody, 52, said he's "comfortable" with where Christine stands in her religious beliefs. "She's free from that yoke of bondage, if you will," he noted.

Sister Wives
Kody Brown with Robyn, Meri, Christine and Janelle Brown. Christine Brown/Instagram

Weighing in on Christine and Kody's fractured bond, Robyn got emotional while discussing how she hoped the exes would work it out.

"I have always wanted her and Kody's relationship to be strong," the 43-year-old said. "I understand that she's feeling like she doesn't have other choices, but I wish that she decided to keep trying."

Christine and Kody publicized their separation in November, though Robyn still feels they're not "technically" divorced.

"Christine says they're divorced and technically, in my head, they're not, because their marriage was done by our church officials," she said. "They haven't granted them a divorce."

Sister Wives airs Sundays at 10 p.m. ET on TLC.

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