Leave it to Sean Hayes to turn the story of his very serious health scare into a hilarious talk show segment.
The Will & Grace star was scheduled to appear on The Ellen DeGeneres Show a few weeks ago but ended up having to cancel at the last minute. On Wednesday’s show, he revealed he had actually been hospitalized just days before his original appearance.
“I went to bed at night and all of a sudden I felt this excruciating pain in my stomach,” he recalled. “So I went to the ER … and thank God I did. I had a very rare thing where my small intestine burst open, and it was poisoning my body.”
“So they went in there, and they clipped off the bad part and put it back together with like, a chip clip,” he said, quipping that now his “potato chips are stale.”
“And they put you on so many drugs,” he added. “You’re like, high out of your mind.”
Hayes, 47, ended up calling DeGeneres’ producer from the hospital, informing her of his hospitalization but promising he would still be able to do the show.
“Scottie, my husband, was in the room with me,” Hayes said. “I hung up the phone and he was like, ‘What’s wrong with you? You can’t do the Ellen show on Monday. Are you high?’ And I’m like, ‘Yeah, I’m really high. Are you high?’ “
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DeGeneres pulled up a picture of the actor in the hospital, making his way down the hallway.
“That’s me in that stupid hospital gown they put you in,” he said with a grimace. “Look at that — so sad. So in order to get your energy back, they make you walk around the floor and do laps. So I’m making nice-nice with the nurses and they’re laughing. I’m like, ‘They must be gigantic fans!’ Well, my bottom was sticking out the whole time.”
Last but not least, Hayes surprised DeGeneres with an instrument the hospital gave him to keep his lungs healthy after surgery — known as an incentive spirometer — in which one blows into a tube to raise three small plastic balls to the top of the chamber.
“You love games, and I love games,” he told the host. “Let’s play the game, and whoever can suck their balls the hardest wins.”
“You suck, not blow?” asked DeGeneres as the audience roared with laughter.
“Of course I’d have to teach her!” Hayes responded.
“Look, it doesn’t matter who won,” he reassured her afterwards. “The important thing is we both suck.”