Shonda Rhimes spared the life of one leading man this week
Credit: ABC

Shondaland lost its original leading man Thursday night when Dr. Derek Shepherd was killed off Grey’s Anatomy moments after doing what he did best: saving lives.

And yes, we shed our share of tears during that “Chasing Cars” montage.

Luckily for Gladiators, Scandal star Scott Foley was totally tricking us with last week’s Twitter troll. Despite basically being stabbed on every inch of his body, Captain Jake Ballard was alive, if not quite well.

Most Scandalous Moments

• This episode didn’t waste any time: Quinn (Katie Lowes) walked right into the OPA offices to find a bloody Jake on the floor. Because retired assassins don’t exactly have healthcare, going to the hospital wasn’t an option. So Charlie (George Newbern) brought a Russian doctor to tend to the captain. His price? Olivia (Kerry Washington) – who, by the way, can speak pretty much every language known to man – had to help his old friend, an ex-KGB agent. Huck (Guillermo Déaz) recognized her name: “No one is more ruthless or dangerous,” he warned.

• Psych! She was a redheaded grandma who goes by Mary Peterson and bakes fresh cookies for kindly strangers. She told Olivia that she was recruited while growing up dirt poor but hadn’t killed since the Cold War – until she found an assignment on her car’s dashboard. Olivia confronted the KGB vet – butcher by day, killer by day – who gave Mary the note. He didn’t want money, so she offered up the name of the man who led B613, a.k.a. her father, and a burner phone to reach him. Which brings us to …

• … Russell (Brian White). Oh, Russell. After he failed in his mission to kill Jake, he tried to booty call Liv, but she rejected her former flame. “She wouldn’t bite,” he told Rowan (Joe Morton), to which Papa Pope replied, “Maybe now she will,” shooting him in the arm. Olivia, Huck and Quinn kidnap him from the hospital and bring him to where Jake was being treated. Unable to speak but faced with the man who knifed him, Jake was a helpless little hottie strapped in a straight jacket, unable to warn Liv.

• Meanwhile, Mellie’s (Bellamy Young) campaign for senator of Virginia wasn’t quite going as planned after Sally Langston (Kate Burton) skewered her on The Liberty Report, questioning whether a first lady running for a legislative position is even legal. (We were wondering when the writers would address that tidbit!) Cyrus (Jeff Perry) and Sally sparred over feminism and working mothers, perfectly encapsulating the very real debate over whether women can have it all. Everyone advised Mellie to distance herself from Fitz (Tony Goldwyn), but she refused, and his late night call with Liv (cue theme music) gave them the perfect strategy: Appeal to local voters by showing them that they want to elect a politician who has the president’s ear – and shares his bed.

• Olivia took a trip to Mary’s home in suburbia after she went MIA, walking into a gruesome scene of her and her grandchildren slaughtered in their living room. She found the Russian butcher in her trunk. Naturally, it was all the handiwork of Papa Pope, presenting his daughter with a problem she just couldn’t fix.

• Jake miraculously recovered, but Olivia ran straight to Russell for some sexual healing. She straddled him, teasing him to close his eyes … before holding a gun to his head. Of course she figured out she was sleeping with the enemy! “Alex?” he pleaded, using her hookup code name. “It’s Olivia,” she growled. “And this is definitely going to hurt.”

Best Quotes

• “I would have shoes. All I had to do is learn English, go to America and murder people as ordered.” –Mary Peterson

• “I woke up with a new used kidney, peeing like a champ.” –Charlie

• “No one should be able to tell any woman she can’t hold a job.” –Feminist Cyrus

• “All he’ll be remembered for is his wife telling the world he’s whipped.” –not feminist Cyrus

• “We have Quinn!” –David
“She was in B613 for like five minutes.” –Charlie

Questions for Next Week

• What’s Olivia going to do to her boy toy for his betrayal?

• Can Pope & Associates and the Justice Department really take down Rowan and B613?

• With Russell down for the count, is it time for Olivia to rekindle the flame with Jake or Fitz?

This Week, We’re Team …

Jake. Yeah, it’s kind of a pity vote, but Fitz was more concerned with making things right with Mellie than getting hot and heavy with Liv, and the once promising Russell is now her enemy. Although … did you see the look on his face while Olivia was apologizing to an unconscious Jake? Could Papa Pope’s double agent have real feelings for our girl?

Scandal airs Thursdays (9 p.m. ET) on ABC.