Ryan Sutter Opens Up About No Longer Feeling 'Alone' amid Mystery Illness
Bachelor Nation’s Ryan Sutter is opening up about his struggles and triumphs while battling a mystery illness these past few months.
“Though I am functional and continue to work my regular fire schedule, I am experiencing a battery of symptoms which include: fatigue — sometimes almost paralyzing, deep body and muscle aches, fevers, night sweats, full body itching with no rash, headaches, neck and throat swelling, congestion, lightheadedness, nausea and just general all around not feeling good,” he wrote on Dec. 1.
Now, Ryan, 46, is sharing more about the mental struggles he has faced this year.
“I’ve learned a lot about resiliency this year,” the former Bachelorette contestant wrote on Instagram Tuesday. “I’d imagine we all have? For years I followed the ideal laid out by Gandhi that strength was measured by an indomitable will. I pushed myself to develop a mindset that would not give up, give in or give off any sign of weakness. I did this mostly on my own, choosing solitude as my practice ground. Though I had breakdowns, few ever saw them. Mostly I internalized difficulty and distracted myself from its presence through physical exertion. It worked for me. I felt confident. I felt resilient. Until this year…”
He went on to share that his illness helped him realize that it was okay to ask for help and lean on the people around him. He added that Trista has developed a “medical strategy” to aid him.
“Though I still believe there is tremendous value in a strong will and self-reliance, I realize now that sometimes those things are romantic excuses for stubbornness. Sometimes it is necessary to let others in, to ask for help and to accept it,” wrote Ryan, who shares daughter Blakesley Grace, 11, and son Maxwell Alston, 13, with Trista.
He continued, “For me, health concerns brought on this realization, eventually forcing me to expose what I considered to be weakness. Once exposed however, weakness became opportunity. I was no longer alone in my struggle. My wife went on a mission, developing a medical strategy and path towards hopeful answers while at the same time leaving daily reminder notes to keep my spirits up. My family has rallied behind me, my friends have shown tremendous support and my colleagues a high degree of understanding and patience. For all of this I am grateful.”
Ryan said he wanted to share this reflection in order to show his followers that “resiliency is not a solo act.”
“It is not expected nor probably even possible for a single person to provide the entirety of their own resilience. I will always work to increase my personal tolerance of adversity and challenge my ability to be self reliant. However, I know with certainty that I can not solve every problem - that suffering is not always overcome by an indomitable will. As difficult as it may be, soliciting the help of others is a critical step in moving forward through difficult times. I appreciate all the help I have received and know that through it I am a better, stronger, more knowledgeable and more resilient man,” he concluded.