Ryan Oubre Addresses Divorce: You Can't 'Marry Another Race and Not Want to Marry Their Culture'

Ryan Oubre, who split from fellow Married at First Sight star Clara Berghaus in July, addressed their divorce in a lengthy Instagram post on Wednesday

Ryan Oubre and Clara Berghaus
Photo: Lifetime

Ryan Oubre is telling his side of the story.

The Married at First Sight alum, who wed flight attendant Clara Berghaus on season 12 of the popular Lifetime reality show, issued a lengthy statement on Instagram on Wednesday addressing the pair's divorce.

After beginning his statement by saying he's "not here to debate anyone's feelings or emotions" and that "getting married to a stranger is indescribable," Oubre — who admitted on the show that he had never been in love before — got into the nitty gritty of some of the challenges he faced in his marriage to Berghaus.

"You can't truly be open to marry another race and not want to marry their culture (or at least at the minimum understand it)," he wrote, adding that the "Black experience and Black culture are not monolithic" and are "ever-evolving and ever-changing with time."

Continued Oubre: "What I can say is: walking into a family gathering and not speaking to anyone and scrolling through your phone will never fly and declining food (outside of a food allergy or avoidance) because you don't like the way it looks won't help either."

Oubre, 30, went on to write that "by marrying into a different race/culture you inherently adopt parts of their identity" and "most importantly, your kids 100% will, and your kids will need you to help navigate it."

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He then added that "choosing not to understand and educate yourself is a red flag," and that while he "avoided having such a complex conversation on camera," he and Berghaus, 27, had discussions about it "privately."

While Oubre reiterated that he was not accusing Berghaus of racism, he wrote that "it's possible (all too often) to not be racist, while still being completely unaware" and that it is an "example of not understanding Black America."

RELATED VIDEO: Married at First Sight S12

The MAFS star also addressed some of the issues he and Berghaus faced on-camera, including his ex's qualms about intimacy early on in their marriage. "Hearing more frustration over the lack of sex in the first two weeks than spiritual and mental capability were alarming," he wrote.

Oubre concluded his statement by writing that "Clara is 1000% allowed to have her own belief system," and that he "made a promise to Clara's parents to be respectful" of her "regardless of the outcome" and intends to keep doing so.

clara oubre
Clara Elizabeth Berghaus/instagram

While Berghaus didn't address her ex's Instagram statement directly — and has not commented to PEOPLE — she did repost a quote on her Story that read in part, "Let them judge you. Let them misunderstand you. Let them gossip about you. Their opinions aren't your problem."

Wrote Berghaus below the quote: "Blessed to be closing out this year without an ounce of anger in my heart, closer to my family than I've ever been, and wildly, unconditionally loved by the people who matter."

Berghaus and Oubre met and married each other during season 12 of Married at First Sight. While they were one of the three couples that remained together at the season's conclusion, they announced their split just two months after the show's reunion aired.

"After taking some time away from cameras, we have reached that point in our marriage where we know it's better to go our separate ways," they said in a joint statement to PEOPLE in July.

"It's not an easy decision to make it, nor we do we take these next steps lightly," their statement continued. "Grateful to all who stood by us, and continue to stand by us as we make this very difficult decision. It goes without saying, we remain friends and hope for nothing but the best for each other."

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