'RHONY' : Sonja Morgan Questions If She Made 'the Right Decision' by Divorcing Ex-Husband

Sonja Morgan said she still feels guilt surrounding the end of her marriage: "I lost my best friend and a wonderful marriage"

Photo: Sophy Holland/Bravo

Sonja Morgan is working through her feelings.

On Tuesday's episode of The Real Housewives of New York City, Sonja opened up about the difficult feelings she's faced over the past year, especially after moving back into the townhouse she once shared with her ex-husband due to COVID-19. (She previously rented out the property, but the tenants moved out during the pandemic.)

"After meditating daily and doing my yoga practice, I realized something is energetically off," she said. "I've got to get on track."

To help get herself back in a positive headspace, she decided to bring a "healer" into her home to help sort out her "energy." During the reading, Sonja became emotional while recalling the guilt she feels over her failed marriage.

"I lost my best friend and a wonderful marriage. Is he dead? No. But for all intents and purposes, for me, he's gone," she said. "I had to make a choice for my daughter and I feel so bad. Maybe I should have stayed with him and made sure she had everything she needed and got more time with me."

Sonja, 57, was married to American financier J. P. Morgan's great-grandson John Adams Morgan, 90, for seven years before their divorce in 2006. The two met when she was hostessing at an Italian restaurant in New York City and share one daughter: Quincy Adams Morgan, 20.

"Did I make the right decision?" she questioned.

Sonja said her conflicted feelings surrounding her past have caused her to feel "checked the f--- out" of her daily life.

"I've got a lot that's culminating at this point," she said, adding that the pandemic left her worried about finances. "I'd like to just go some place and believe none of this is happening because I'm not ready to deal with it all head-on."

"I'm a piece of work and I am a piece of work in progress, for sure," she added after her healing session was over.

Quincy Morgan and Sonja
Quincy Morgan/ Instagram

Later in the episode, Sonja revisited her feelings while speaking with yet another spiritual healer at a Burning Man-themed party at Ramona Singer's Hamptons house with fellow castmates Luann de Lesseps, Leah McSweeney and Eboni K. Williams.

While setting her "intention" for the night, Sonja admitted that she needs to learn to lean on her friends during hard times, rather than keeping her feelings bottled up.

"I need to be a better friend and be more vulnerable so that they know that I trust them with my feelings," she said. "The thing is, I couldn't even call my mom with things like this, or my daughter. I don't like to dump anything on my daughter."

The other women stressed that by opening up to her daughter, it could actually help them grow closer together as a family.

"By showing your vulnerability to her it shows her your strength," said Luann, 55.

"I'd like to just check out," Sonja said. "Not kill myself, but check out. I just want to disappear."

The confession concerned her friends, who urged her to continue working toward finding inner peace.

"I get disappointed when Sonja says she wants to check out because that's like giving up. Sonja needs to learn to fight back and not wallow in all her miseries," said Ramona, 64. "Overcome your problems. Positive energy creates positive results."

The Real Housewives of New York City airs Tuesdays (9 p.m. ET) on Bravo.

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