RHOD: Brandi Redmond Says She Thinks Tiffany Moon Is 'Judging' Her After Racially Insensitive Video Surfaced
"Have I ever led you to believe that I think you are racist?" Tiffany Moon asked Brandi Redmond during Tuesday's episode of the Real Housewives of Dallas
During Tuesday's episode of The Real Housewives of Dallas, Brandi opened up about her recent withdrawal from the group — particularly from Tiffany — after a racially insensitive video surfaced online at the beginning of 2020 in which she appeared to mock Asians.
"Do you feel awkward around me?" Brandi, 42, asked Tiffany.
"No, do you feel awkward around me?" Tiffany said.
"I feel like sometimes I'm very guarded when it comes to our relationship because of the video," Brandi told her.
"Have I ever led you to believe that I think you are racist?" Tiffany asked.
Though Brandi said she felt Tiffany had given her "a lot of grace," she admitted that she was "scared" to be herself at times.
"Sometimes I feel like, I'm not going to lie, I want to be a better version of myself and I want to grow. I feel like sometimes when I'm around all of us and with you there, I just want to be completely myself in front of you. But I just feel like, I'm just scared to be myself," said Brandi. "In some ways I'm like, 'Is she being honest with the way she feels?'"
Tiffany assured Brandi that she was being honest with her feelings. "Yes I am," she said.
She also told Brandi that she "never thought that you said or did any of those things out of intention to make others feel badly about themselves, which I have experienced. I never thought that you intended that, which I thought I had made clear to you."
Having the conversation and clearing the air was important to Brandi, who felt as though Tiffany was "judging" her at times.
"I'm so sorry it had to come to this but I wanted you to see where I was coming from," Brandi responded. "I want to be myself in front of you. I just hold back, I think all of them know I'm holding back. Maybe I'm a little paranoid, like, 'Oh my gosh is she judging me?' Because I do, I feel like you're judging me."
But Tiffany denied judging Brandi and had only positive things to say about her costar.
"I'm not judging you," said Tiffany. "I'm really not. I wish you wouldn't think so ill of me and give me a chance. I think you're a great mother. I think you're a great friend. I think you're a great dancer. I think you're funny as hell."
While the episode concluded with Tiffany asking, "What do you think about me?" viewers will have to tune into next week's episode to hear Brandi's answer.
In the season 5 premiere of RHOD, Brandi opened up about her struggle with suicidal thoughts after the controversial video surfaced.
"About three and a half years ago, I made a video and posted it on my Instagram," Brandi told cameras. "The video was of me making fun of my squinty eyes."
"They ask me what Asian I am because my eyes, they squinty," Redmond says in the video, while appearing to mock an Asian accent.
During the premiere, Brandi told costar Stephanie Hollman, "I understand that I hurt people," while holding back tears. "Honestly, it was stupid and ignorant. I did it in front of my children and it was horrible. I want to be a good example for my children. I was wrong."
"Your kids know you're a good person, girl," said Stephanie.
"The reaction of people was to cancel me, that I was a horrible person, a horrible mother," Brandi said. "I went away for treatment because I was suicidal. I had so much guilt and shame. I needed help."
RELATED VIDEO: RHOD's Stephanie Hollman Responds to Brandi Redmond Controversy
"I was willing to end my life, because I felt like that's what I should do," she continued. "I'm extremely sorry for my actions and the pain that I caused people. I'm putting that pain back on myself because I'm ashamed."
Later in that episode, as the ladies gathered at Stephanie's house for a little girl time, Brandi took the opportunity to apologize for her actions.
"2020 didn't start off the best for me," she told the ladies. "I made a very ignorant, insensitive choice and I'm sorry. I live with a lot of shame and I'm still carrying it with me. I went to a mental health facility to help me through. Because I was like, 'No one wanted to be friends with me anymore.' And that's the last thing I wanted, so I thought that maybe I should make my life go away. I want y'all to know that I'm very grateful for all of you."
The Real Housewives of Dallas airs Tuesdays (9 p.m. ET) on Bravo.
If you or someone you know is considering suicide, please contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255), text "STRENGTH" to the Crisis Text Line at 741-741 or go tosuicidepreventionlifeline.org.