On Monday's all-new Real Housewives of Orange County, Shannon Beador opened up about the state of her relationship with her now ex-husband David Beador
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Shannon Beador spent two decades clinging on to a relationship with David Beador, amid tense battles and his very public affair. And now that the two are going through a contentious divorce, she admits, “I just want him out of my life.”

On Monday’s episode of The Real Housewives of Orange County, Shannon opened up about the state of her relationship with her now ex-husband as the two prepped for a court hearing for temporary support.

“Believe it or not, I had David over to my house for Thanksgiving and Christmas. But he says that he lived through 17 years of hell with me,” Shannon, 54, admitted. “So, I’m sorry you feel that way. Thank god you’re out.”

“I feel nothing for him,” she added. “It’s not anger. How in six months after separating, can you just feel nothing after 20 years? … I just want it to be over.”

But Shannon did feel hurt — later, when the two came face to face in court, a meeting Shannon described as “emotional” and “a little scary.”

As PEOPLE reported back in March, at that court date, Shannon was awarded joint legal and physical custody of their three daughters as well as $22,500 per month for temporary non-taxable child and spousal support.

RELATED VIDEO: Shannon Beador on Co-Parenting With Ex-Husband: ‘I Want David to Be a Part of My Children’s Lives’

David — who didn’t hire a lawyer and was representing himself — was originally ordered to pay Shannon $30,000 per month for temporary non-taxable child and spousal support, according to court documents. But Shannon and her lawyer proposed a smaller amount of $22,500 per moth, PEOPLE reported.

“I felt bad, I thought we should lower it,” Shannon told pal Tamra Judge on Monday’s episode. “So [my lawyer] Ben and I talked about lowering the amount, to be nice. … We actually settled on $22,500 a month, because that’s what I need at this point.”

“Raising three children in California is expensive,” Shannon reiterated. “If anything, I was fair in cutting down the order. I just want him out of my life.”

Shannon Beador
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Her kindness didn’t help smooth things over. During a break, David allegedly approached Shannon and her lawyer with rage.

“We went out in the hallway and David came around the corner where I was talking to Ben and [David] just went off on Ben and me,” Shannon recalled. “And Ben had to scream for the bailiff. He was so livid. [David] came around the corner and said, ‘You f—ing happy Ben?’ … We went back into the courtroom and he was shaking in anger.”

The source of David’s alleged anger? A lack of control, according to Shannon.

“It’s interesting how you see these things when you’re away from something, and I think that it’s a control issue,” Shannon said. “David for 17 years of marriage handled our finances. He was in charge. And now he’s not in control and I think that may cause anger.”

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Shannon Beador and David Beador
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Money hasn’t been the only problem between the two.

During an earlier conversation with her RHOC castmates, Shannon revealed that David had claimed in his declaration that Shannon “excessively drinks” — something she denies — and that he had been receiving a series of angry text messages from David. “‘F— you, you f—ing bitch,’ ” she said, reciting some of the things she had allegedly been texted. “‘You f—ing disgust me, you fat ass. Get off your f—ing lazy fat ass. Did you get out of bed today, you f—ing bitch?’ ”

In turn, she said they were submitting David’s texts to the judge. “I guarantee you, I will never have to talk to him again,” she said.

RELATED VIDEO: Shannon Beador on Dating After Divorce: ‘I Am Dating a Little Now!’

Meanwhile, with that behind her for a few months — and Shannon finally feeling like she’s in a place where she’s not holding on to any residual feelings, good or bad, for David — Shannon she can finally start dating again.

Monday’s episode saw Judge and the girls setting Shannon up with a matchmaker.

“I don’t know if I’m ready to date,” she admitted. “The whole thought panics me. Just panics me!”

“I’ve been a one-guy kind of girl. I’ve never been a dater. So when I moved to Orange County, I vowed to be a dater, and that’s how I met my husband. We were married for 17 years, together for 20,” Shannon continued. “I think that what I’ve come to realize is that what I’m looking for is a partnership. I’m not going to go and meet a guy at a bar and then make out with him at that night. I need to know somebody before we’re going to tough lips.”

The Real Housewives of Orange County airs Mondays (9 p.m. ET) on Bravo.