'RHOBH' 's Garcelle Beauvais Says She's Not in a Rush to Find a Man: 'I Have Such a Full Life'

"We put so much pressure on women," Garcelle Beauvais tells PEOPLE of the dating world

Garcelle Beauvais

She memorably met with a dating coach on Real Housewives of Beverly Hills but Garcelle Beauvais says she's in no rush to settle down if it's not with the right person.

"I have such a full life," The Real co-host, actress and mom of three tells PEOPLE. "I don't want to just bring anybody in as a seat filler. I really want it to be the person. I feel like we put so much pressure on women to have a man, be married, have kids. Can we just live our lives?"

Beauvais, 55, gets even more candid in her new memoir, Love Me As I Am, on stands now.

"It was like therapy," says Beauvais of writing the book. "But I feel like I've made peace with a lot of things, so that's why now it feels like a good time to share."

Garcelle Beauvais

The star opens up about her painful divorce from ex Mike Nilon after she discovered that he had had an affair. Beauvais and Nilon share 14-year-old twins Jax and Jaid.

"I was so angry, and hurt and confused," she recalls. "With the betrayal, I thought, 'Was I not enough?' But then I realized that it wasn't about me at all."

Ultimately, "one of the reasons I didn't stay married is because I didn't want to change my spirit," says Beauvais, who is also mom to 31-year-old son Oliver. "This is my one shot at life. And I didn't think it would be fair for my kids to live with a mom who has so much angst."

Yet Beauvais and Nilon have found a way to maintain a close friendship while amicably co-parenting. "I couldn't hate the man [my kids] love so much," she says.

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Garcelle Beauvais

And these days, with her hosting gig on The Real and filming RHOBH, Beauvais is busier than ever — and reflecting on what she has brought to the Bravo show thus far.

"I want to be as carefree as everyone else, but I can't because I come with other things," says Beauvais, the first Black woman cast in the Beverly Hills franchise. "I didn't want it to be heavy, but at the same time I have to say, well, my world is different. And I have to say I think the show has handled those conversations really well."

As far as Lisa Rinna, with whom she's had a turbulent relationship of late? "That's a work in progress!" says Beauvais with a laugh.

Love Me As I Am will be available on April 12.

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