'RHOBH' : Erika Girardi Says She Has 'Zero Dollars,' Walking 'Fine Line' amid Ongoing Legal Woes

"I'm damned if I do and I'm damned if I don't," she said on Wednesday's episode

Erika Girardi and her estranged husband Tom Girardi's ongoing legal troubles continue to dominate the focus of the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills this season.

Wednesday's episode of the Bravo show picked up during the cast trip to Del Mar, California. Though Erika, 50, skipped the group's wine tasting outing, she later joined everyone for dinner.

Erika told her castmates that she took the day to catch up on sleep. (On last week's episode, she had learned that Tom, 82, was being placed under a conservatorship due to his declining health.)

"I'm so overwhelmed that I needed a minute so I can escape my own personal situation," she said. "And then I go, 'You know what? It's not as bad.' What I'm going through sucks, but, you know, [Tom has] done a lot for a lot of people. People can step up. He's done a lot for a lot of people that could come in and help right now."

Erika and Tom Girardi. Steve Eichner/AP

From there, Erika shifted gears to joke about her "untraditional" relationship with her son, Tommy Zizzo. She remained in light-hearted spirits throughout the night, which Lisa Rinna noted to Garcelle Beauvais and Sutton Stracke the following morning. "It's been such a long time since we've seen the real Erika come out," she remarked.

Later that morning, Erika met up with Kyle Richards for a game of pickleball. As they enjoyed some champagne afterwards, Erika thanked Kyle, 52, for being her "friend" and said she appreciated the support. Erika then mentioned that she had read an article about Tom facing eviction from his $16 million mansion.

"We'll see. I'm out here rebuilding my life," she said. "But girl, I have zero dollars. And by the time those trustees are done with [Tom], he'll be [worth] nothing. So I walk out of this with nothing. And I said that to my lawyers the other day — I said, 'I expect nothing.' And one of my lawyers looked at me and he goes, 'That is the most courageous thing I've ever heard.'"

Frazer Harrison/Getty Images

When the ladies gathered for a boat ride later, Erika approached Sutton, 50, to apologize for her part in their ongoing feud. Tension between the two came to a head after Sutton organized a secret meeting — sans Erika — to discuss perceived discrepancies in what she had been telling the women. After Erika found out, she threatened Sutton with a lawsuit.

"It's just been rough, honey. And it's something that I can't even f---ing predict," Erika said to Sutton of her current situation on Wednesday's episode, to which Sutton replied, "I know. I'm sorry."

Telling Sutton it was "okay" and that she would "get through it," Erika added: "But I had to lash out, and I apologize." (Sutton later said in a confessional that she wasn't sure how sincere the "mild apology" was.)

Amy Sussman/Getty; Charles Sykes/Bravo/NBCU Photo Bank via Getty

Never miss a story — sign up for PEOPLE's free daily newsletter to stay up-to-date on the best of what PEOPLE has to offer, from juicy celebrity news to compelling human interest stories.

Still on the boat, the group asked Erika to fill them in on her conversation with Sutton.

"My life's [in] shambles. And I'm angry, and I'm hurt," she said. "And it's not [a] kumbaya [with Sutton], but it's an opening. I'm in a good mood. The moment is right and she was receptive, and so here it is, you know. That's all you can do."

Recalling how she used to be, Erika said she wanted to continue being "a good time." But she stressed that she had to be careful due to her and Tom's legal woes, which include a lawsuit accusing the former couple of embezzling settlement funds that belonged to Tom's clients.

"I'm a good time and I want to be even a better time. But you know what? I have to walk a very fine line, because there are a lot of people that are looking at me, and if I look like I'm having a little too much fun, I'm not remorseful," said Erika, who filed for divorce in November 2020, shortly before the legal crises emerged. "If I look like I'm looking a little too good, I have no shame. So I'm damned if I do and I'm damned if I don't."

"I want to have fun. I want to laugh," she added. "But if I laugh too much, I get criticized for that. Then, if I hang my head in shame, I'm clearly guilty of something."

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills airs Wednesdays (8 p.m. ET) on Bravo.