RHOA: Drew Sidora Tells 'Controlling' Husband Ralph Pittman She Wants to Go to Counseling
Drew Sidora wants to have a long-lasting marriage, and she's doing everything she can to make that happen.
During Sunday's episode of Real Housewives of Atlanta, the Step Up actress, 35, admitted that things between herself and husband Ralph Pittman were "definitely not great." To help with their relationship issues, Drew brought up the idea of marriage counseling to her husband, who was on board.
The episode picked up the day after the couple celebrated their six-year anniversary — a meal that ended with Drew leaving the table in tears after an argument.
"You know, we didn't really resolve things. We decided just to table it," Drew told cameras. "Which is something that at this point drives me crazy. We don't really talk about it, nor do we have the tools to really resolve it. So we just kind of go along and get along until the next crazy argument."
That day, as Drew and Ralph sat in the living room for a rehearsal of her mother Pastor Jeanette's church sermon — which the couple agreed to do worship for — another discussion erupted.
When Pastor Jeanette said that the title of the sermon was "Bridle Your Tongue," she looked directly at Ralph, which prompted him to ask why she had looked his way. Drew's mom proceeded to bring up the couple's anniversary dinner, saying she "had a discernment that some stuff was going to go on yesterday."
"And when I came up here to celebrate your anniversary, I came up here to somebody crying," she continued, referencing her daughter.
Though Jeanette said she tried not to take sides, Ralph didn't believe it. "Oh, you, really?" he asked. At that, Jeannette shared her true feelings about her son-in-law, telling him, "You want a person to agree with you all the time."
In response, Ralph said there were "some things that we've got to get on the same page with. And this is work that you and I need to do, because it's not, 'Ralph, I wrote this because of you, and this is what you need to do.'"
"You wrote the sermon with me in mind," he added.
"Well, based on the events that happened yesterday and how you talked to her," Drew said to Ralph before defending her mother's sermon. "But it was a lesson for her, a lesson for me, it's a lesson for everybody that's going to be on Zoom."
For Drew, "trying to bridge the gap on Ralph and my mom has not been easy," she admitted to cameras. "The way he talks, he's like, super straightforward. Sometimes she takes that as disrespect."
She proceeded to suggest that her husband try listening and letting "somebody speak what's on their heart," adding, "and just know that you're not perfect."
"And maybe there is work to be done," she continued. "There's some growth that needs to happen. Why can't you just say, 'Well, maybe I can learn something tomorrow'? You're like, getting kind of combative."
From Ralph's perspective, "I think this is a sermon that all of us can use," he said.
Choosing to "table the conversation" and move on with the rehearsal, Drew said she didn't want her mom and husband to get into an argument. "I just can't take that right now."
"Ralph is very argumentative and I find myself taking a lot of accountability and it's a lot of work," Drew said. "I be tired — like, I be really tired. So I think we've gotten to a place where you just really have to put back in perspective why you came together initially."
Later on in the episode, Drew asked Ralph to help her as she was in the process of packing up their house in preparation for the family's move into a new home.
"Ralph and I are in the process of purchasing a new home, my first home I've ever purchased, so I'm super excited. It is literally around the corner from where we live now and it's over 9,000 square feet, so we can definitely stay in our corners when need be," she explained.
When Drew asked if they could take a box of stuff over to the new place, Ralph said the home wasn't theirs yet "until I buy it," explaining that an appraisal had to be done, their attorney had to get involved, and that they had to make sure the title was clean and arrange a closing date before they could sign.
Though Drew wanted to be able to say it was their house, Ralph insisted, "I won't say anything. That's something you just don't do. That's why I say: 'You just focus on packing up.' I'll take care of business."
But Drew wanted to be a part of the business process in addition to the packing.
"I'm definitely not a woman that wanted to be kept. I wanted to have a partner. But Ralph can be controlling, you know, he wants to be the knight in shining armor," she said in a confessional. "I definitely am grateful and I see his value and sometimes I just feel like he doesn't see mine."
"I really feel like when we're getting along, it's forever. But when we have these arguments, at a certain point it's like, enough is enough," the mother of three continued. "We've got to get our act together for the sake of our kids and for our marriage if we want this thing to last."
While on the drive over to their new place, Ralph addressed his shortcomings, telling his wife, "Sometimes I can get things wrong, and I'll admit it."
"Good," she replied, revealing that she had contacted a marriage counselor.
"I called a counselor that works with couples. Honestly, when we move in this house, I don't want to bring our past into this home," she said as they pulled up. "I want this to be a home that we can like, see our kids grow in, you know?"
Upon learning that his wife had already spoken with the counselor, Ralph was on the defense. "So you already gave her like, a bias, so that she's already trying to prejudge me — 'let me tell you what I need you to fix on Ralph,'" he said.
"I didn't say that," Drew said. "I'm sitting here saying I found us a counselor. That's a good thing. Can you just say, 'Great job, babe.' Like, can I just hear anything positive?"
Though Ralph said he was "just asking a question," his wife felt that he was "always finding the wrong in everything I do, even when I don't do nothing wrong."
"We're standing in front of our house we about to buy and we're arguing. ... This should be a celebration," she said, before asking him directly if he was "agreeing to counseling."
"Oh, I'm definitely down with counseling," Ralph said. "Because Lord knows we need it. Lord, Lord, we need you."
The Real Housewives of Atlanta airs Sundays (8 p.m. ET) on Bravo.