'RHONY' 's Jules Wainstein Admits She Still Slips into Her Eating Disorder

Jules Wainstein addressed the harsh realities of her eating disorder while fighting with Bethenny Frankel and Carole Radziwill

Photo: Evans Vestal Ward/NBC/Getty

After weeks of feeling bullied by Bethenny Frankel and Carole Radziwill, Jules Wainstein finally stood up to them on Wednesday’s Real Housewives of New York City. And in her anxiety about explaining her feelings, she admitted she’s still struggling with her eating disorder.

“I live on the fine line of an eating disorder,” Wainstein told the ladies through tears at a dinner thrown by Dorinda Medley. “In one second, I have a bad day and I have my slips all the time. Three days ago, I threw up my food. I’m not going to lie – it’s my life.”

“Bulimia, it’s with you forever. It’s a big part of my personality,” she later confessed to viewers.

The 35-year-old had previously opened up to PEOPLE about her battled with anorexia and bulimia, which she says began in high school and at one point had her weight dropped to 80 lbs.

The RHONY confession came up when Wainstein confronted Frankel for making fun of her at a pizza-making event a few episodes back, where Wainstein baked utensils into a calzone.

“I’m not stupid, okay?” Wainstein said. “I’m really sick and tired of you portraying me as being stupid. It’s not nice.”

“Your sense of humor is on other people’s expense,” she continued. “My sense of humor’s on my expense because I don’t want to hurt people’s feelings. You make fun of other people because you don’t care about other people’s feelings. Because you hurt people’s feelings.”

Frankel defended herself to viewers. “My sense of humor revolves around laughing and saying funny things,” she said. “And you, you’re a self-deprecator. So you open the door. Plus you have a lot to say about other people – about them being old. So I’m not even buying any of this b——-.”

“I don’t have a mean bone in my body,” Wainstein said. “I’ve been very open and honest and genuine with everyone. With my eating disorder, with my marriage – And I trusted you. Respect that.”

She then accused the ladies of talking negatively about her behind her back – a miscommunication that Medley cleared up.

“I said you should be very careful about talking about her eating disorder because people don’t understand and they may interpret it, so they have to present it through a way of learning,” Medley clarified.

“She should be careful about talking about it, I agree,” said Radziwill.

“My recovery is being open and honest,” Wainstein declared. “I talk about it all the time, whether it’s uncomfortable or not. Don’t talk about me behind my back and discount the work that I’ve done. I may be very skinny and you may not like how skinny I am, but I love my body. I don’t care if you think that my arms look like bones, I hug my bones.”

“If you have a problem with me, and you think that you’re worried about me, tell me to my face,” she said. “That’s the reason I’m open about it. I’m not afraid because maybe you see something I don’t see.”

But Frankel had a hard time with that, explaining that the behavior reminded her of her estranged mother. “It was the worst traumatic childhood because of this,” she told viewers. “This was my whole entire childhood.”

“This is a lot for me to be around someone like this,” Frankel explained to Wainstein. “It affects me too. It’s a dishonest disease. It’s about lying all the time. And lying to everyone. I know you too well that I stay away because I don’t want to get involved. I’m allowed to protect myself.”

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Radziwill said she didn’t have that experience – but she saw other things to be concerned about. “I don’t know about eating disorders, but I know about denial,” she told Wainstein.

“I’m not in denial,” Wainstein said, in defense.

By episode’s end, the status of Wainstein’s friendship with Frankel and Radziwill seemed to be very much up in the air, with the two ignoring her on a bus ride to Connecticut’s Mohegan Sun casino.

“Giving them this information about me shouldn’t make me vulnerable,” Wainstein told viewers. “It should be a privilege. It should make us closer.”

“I will never, ever tell them anything personal about my life ever again,” she declared to Medley and Sonja Morgan. “I don’t trust them.”

The Real Housewives of New York City airs Wednesdays (9 p.m. ET) on Bravo.