The Real Housewives of New York City returns Wednesday at 9 p.m. ET on Bravo

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They’re here. And they’re spectacular.

PEOPLE can exclusive debut the season 9 taglines for the ladies of The Real Housewives of New York City, including newcomer Tinsley Mortimer.

As ever, it’s a smörgåsbord of sass as the women offer self-deprecating riffs on their most memorable moments past — as well as of teases of what’s to come.

First, presented without comment …

Dorinda Medley: I tell it like it is, but I always make it nice.

Ramona Singer: I’m an acquired taste. You don’t like me? Acquire some taste.

Sonja Morgan: There’s nothing Grey about my Gardens.

Carole Radziwill: In the politics of friendship, I win the popular vote.

Luann (de Lesseps) D’agostino: The only title I’d trade Countess for is wife.

Tinsley Mortimer: A good set of lashes can fix anything — even a mugshot.

Bethenny Frankel: If you’re gonna take a shot at this B, you better not miss.

With so many humdingers in the bunch, this might be one of the strongest overall tagline collection in Housewives history. How can one possibly pick a favorite? (And that’s without any reference to the skinny dipping we saw from Frankel in PEOPLE’s exclusive First Look. RHONY clearly has much to give this season.)

One request, Bravo: Can we get a one-off tagline for the infamous return of Jill Zarin?

The Real Housewives of New York City season 9 premieres Wednesday at 9 p.m. ET on Bravo.