By David Caplan
January 29, 2010 12:00 AM
Mike Coppola/Getty

Danielle Staub, the polarizing star of The Real Housewives Of New Jersey, is turning over a new leaf: She’s abstaining from all sexual activity until she’s married.

“I’m abstinent now,” she tells PEOPLE. “I realized that with abstinence, if you really, really believe in yourself like I do, you discover your own self-worth. Abstinence means you refrain from any sex — thinking about it, doing it — even to yourself! I’m a born-again virgin.” In fact, Staub says it’s been “over a year-and-a-half” since she’s had sex.

Staub, who according to multiple online reports began shooting the reality TV show’s season 2 in August for a spring premiere, says when she finds Mr. Right, she’ll return to an active sex life. “I am saving myself for marriage. I didn’t do it the first two times but I learned from my mistakes. So now, it’s okay to wait.”

So is Staub, 45, on a mission to marry? “Marriage is a goal of mine but not because I need it, but because I want it. It’s a big difference.”

But that doesn’t mean Staub is on the prowl for her next husband. “I will never find him, he’ll find me. I think the right one will see me. I want old-fashioned courting.”

And she’s not worried about a sex-free courtship, because, she says, the anticipation will be worth it. “Can you imagine what it would be like on the wedding night?” She’s also not worried about not finding her soul mate, telling PEOPLE, “It’s going to happen. Have you seen me?”

Meanwhile, Staub has very little time to worry about sex at all. “I’m very busy working, so it’s not even an option for me.”

Aside from being a single mom to daughters Christine, an IMG model, and Jillian, she’s releasing an autobiography, The Naked Truth, in the spring. And don’t expect to find much about her costars in its pages. “There are two sides to each story, and this is mine. They’re not part of it. It’s not about them. My life is my own. They’re not part of my life and never have been. They didn’t try to get to know me, so I moved upward and onward.”

Writing a book has been “an unbelievable experience,” she says. “It’s been the best experience other than having children.”

And her empire will expand beyond the literary world: Also in the spring, she’ll release a fitness and nutrition video, as well as an athletic-inspired clothing line, all of which mesh into Staub’s mantra of living life to the fullest: “Life is a gift, love is a blessing, so I want my gift and my blessing!”