Heidi Gutman/Bravo
May 13, 2009 12:00 AM

Anticipation for last night’s Real Housewives of N.Y.C. reunion special was especially high, given the seemingly never-ending cat fights between new Housewife Kelly and the rest of the gang. But the special started with host Andy Cohen asking about all the tepid off-camera news surrounding Jill, Bethenny, LuAnn, Alex, Ramona and Kelly.

We heard about Jill’s breast reduction, and were treated to the revelation that Ramona has seen them. We heard about Bethenny’s best-selling book, and LuAnn’s new book (as well as her breakup with the Count). And then Cohen asked a question from a viewer. Huh?

Finally, the ladies got together in a room and began reviewing the gossip and Page Six items rather than getting the dirt on the juicy moments we all saw on the show. Alex spoke about being laid off, and her two new consulting jobs. Kelly spoke about her obsessive boyfriend, and started crying about her name being besmirched in the press. (That’s what upset her?) And then we went to commercial and came back to talk to Kelly more about whether or not she stole her jewelry designs from a co-worker. Yawn.

Ramona hit the spotlight next, and luckily –since she hasn’t been in the news– we finally got to bring up some show topics. Reviewing Ramona’s best moments while simultaneously watching the other Housewives’ reaction was priceless! “You know what, I’m a character, I must say,” Ramona admitted after watching her own behavior on screen.

A viewer question about Ramona’s two-faced friendships led to her revealing that she grew up in a household where her father verbally abused her mother. And some claws finally came out between Ramona and LuAnn when rehashing Ramona’s infamous comment calling the Count an “old man.” And finally we had a little levity over the question, “Does Ramona have a secret crush on Simon?” That gave Alex a laugh: “Either way, it doesn’t bother me,” she said.

Viewers apparently wrote in left and right complaining that the ladies were all shilling their products, which led the ladies to basically talk even more about their products, just before we cut to a “Silex in heat” montage! “Oh my God. They were having sex at the charity event,” Jill commented as she watched them dance in a scene from the finale.

Discussion then segued to whether Simon and Alex were qualified to be writing a parenting book. Alex explained that the book wouldn’t be a guide to parenting, but a book about the experience of parenting. “I’m writing a book on the experience of ‘non-parenting,’” Bethenny joked. Ramona then asked Alex if she ever disciplined her children, which, remarkably, didn’t get Alex upset at all! She just answered the question, and raved about the way her kids have learned not to talk bad about other (hint, hint, Ramona).

When questioned about why Ramona didn’t show for Alex and Simon’s housewarming party, Ramona gave this bizarre excuse — that it was because they weren’t serving dinner, and she always eats at 8 o’clock. What? She couldn’t grab a burger in Brooklyn somewhere? “I don’t want to eat in Brooklyn,” she added. Wow, Ramona. Way to tick off an entire borough.

We were treated to some Bethenny time next, as we looked at her struggle with dating and relationships. “I’m living a dream and I’m really so grateful,” she said, while admitting that the relationship part of her life has been less of a focus than her work.

Then Alex went straight after Bethenny’s penchant for commenting behind her back in another claws-out moment. “You called Simon revolting on your blog!” she said, asking her to tell her face-to-face next time. “Fair enough,” Bethenny responded.

Then the claws really came out, as we heard how Kelly has been describing Bethenny in the press. “With all due respect, I’m not going to take relationship advice from you,” Bethenny said to Kelly. But as the heat started rise over their past arguments, Ramona said the conversation was getting “boring” and threatened to walk off like she did during the Season 1 reunion special. How could they cut off the Kelly-Bethenny showdown! Hellooo! That’s what we all tuned in for!

Finally a diatribe from Ramona about her mean blog comments toward Bethenny led to Jill, Bethenny and Ramona all talking over each other. If we wanted to see that we could just tune into The View. And that was it. –Mark Dagostino

Tell us: Did anyone else feel cheated? Will you tune in to Part 2, which looks better than Part 1?

MORE: Catch up on all the latest Real Housewives of N.Y.C. news here. Heidi Gutman/Bravo

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