October 30, 2008 12:00 AM

The disgruntled staff at Oceanside Wellness devised a plan last night to reclaim the “days of yesteryear,” as Pete put it and go back to a time when peace reigned in the office. That meant locking Sam and Naomi in a room with a tray of mouthwatering cupcakes. “Don’t come out until you’re done,” Addison told the pair.

Meanwhile, Cooper was forced to reexamine his relationship with Charlotte after the mother of a patient ran screaming from the practice when she realized she’d seen the pediatrician’s photo on an adult website. “Do you think I’m a pervert?” he asked Charlotte later, who responded, “There’s something wrong with you” when she learned his photo was still up on multiple adult websites. Although the sanctimonious mother wouldn’t let him treat her son, Coop discovered the little boy was not autistic as the family thought, but had a syndrome that causes seizures during sleep and impairs the ability to communicate. After the mom shut the door on his diagnosis when he came to her home, Coop shouted through the door, “In order to know I was on the website you had to be on the website. You’re the pot calling the kettle pervert.” Even with the practice under siege, we’re not quite swallowing this happy pill that the Oceanside docs are desperate to the point of making house calls, though that was a funny line. The mom came to her senses and they put the kid on steroids; soon he was talking again, prompting the snotty mom to concede, “Whatever you are, you are a wonderful doctor.”

After his victory, Cooper wanted to stop shagging and talk, while Charlotte was fine with just the shagging. When she dressed as a dominatrix, Coop wasn’t quite the compliant whipping boy, instead suggesting they “spend the evening talking.”

Addison was equally mired in personal and professional dilemmas. A Muslim patient claimed she was raped and asked her to operate so she’d be a virgin again, but Addison pointed out the surgery, if it works, “doesn’t make you a virgin.” The family begged, because the girl was headed for an arranged marriage to a man in Afghanistan who will only accept her as a virgin.

But things were not as they seemed. The girl admitted later that she was not raped. “I have a boyfriend here and I love him,” she told Addison. She insisted, though, that the arranged marriage will make her parents happy so she was determined to go through with it. When Addison discussed it with Violet, she was initially sympathetic … until she learned the girl had lied. “You don’t lie about rape,” she said so violently that we … and Addison … wondered why. In the end, Addison performed the surgery, but couldn’t get Violet to talk. “We’re not going there, Addison,” Violet said firmly. Which means we’ll be going “there” sometime this season.

Things were no easier on the dating front. Cute Cop Kevin paid a visit to the office and proposed a romantic trip to Cabo. Addison’s response was to launch into a lecture about her “sex rules” and how she’s waiting “until it feels right.” “I’m good with waiting,” he lied, but seemed to take it well.

In between the turmoil, a new character popped in. Meg (Jayne Brook) walked in on a chat among the staff and planted a long kiss on Pete in front of everyone. (Watch the clip.) Back in Pete’s office, Meg picked up on his angst over the office troubles. “You need help,” she told him. “You’re going through a rough patch.” This prompted him to clear off his desk and throw her down for yet more office sex.

Meg revealed more of Pete’s past to his colleagues, telling the swooning women about his stint with Doctors without Borders and the time he saved a bunch of orphans while under mortar fire in Bosnia. When Addison asked why they weren’t together, Pete explained, “She’s here now… .and then she’ll be gone.” They end up in a real bed, though, where there was a hint of the pair taking a stab at a real relationship … as long as she quits smoking, he joked.

The Sam-Naomi situation just got hairier as the show wore on. When they came out of the room, they announced the gang must vote for Naomi or Sam to run the practice. This backfired badly. The pair campaigned around the office, with Sam groveling in Coop’s office (“I think you’re a good doctor”) and Naomi hitting up Pete, promising she’d never be one to force him into using a defatillator. Later, the estranged couple fought loudly, drawing the rest of the crew into the office. “I pushed us to try to recapture the past,” Addison admitted as she tried to diffuse the situation. “The past is cluttered with anger and mistakes and we need to bury that. We need Naomi and Sam. The best of both of you.”

But the vote went on as planned, with Addison refusing to cast hers. And then the twist: it was Addison who won by a landslide. Sam and Naomi stormed out, but later found some space together to reconnect. “I’m sorry,” Sam said, and the couple started making out while Addison and Pete watched from the distance, bemused.

It all ended well for Addison, who decided to break her own rule and invite Cute Cop to her house. He didn’t argue as they tore each other’s clothes off. –Sara Hammel

Tell us: Does all the sex make the show better? Do you like this new female love interest Meg for Pete?

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