Big “A” means business.
The Pretty Little Liars villain has moved past sending threatening text messages to straight-up violent attacks.
But which characters finally sealed their flirtation with a kiss? Here’s what happened Tuesday night:
• Aria (Lucy Hale), Spencer (Troian Bellisario) and Emily (Shay Mitchell) visited Alison (Sasha Pieterse) in jail now that they knew she wasn’t A – but Hanna (Ashley Benson) refused. Honestly, we were with Han on this one. Even if Ali wasn’t the person currently terrorizing their lives, she was the source of some serious childhood trauma. Ali wanted to tell her lawyers what Mike (Cody Christian) knew about Mona (Janel Parrish) planning to fake her death for A, but Aria asked her to hold off so he wouldn’t be incriminated.
• Spencer’s mom shipped her off to England to interview at Oxford. At Wren and Melissa’s apartment – sorry, old chap, we mean “flat” – she was greeted by their roommate Colin (Oliver Kieran-Jones, best known for a short stint on Glee). They bantered, and, when her otherwise promising conversation with the Oxford professor was ruined by her purse spilling over with blood (A’s handiwork, natch), he comforted her with an intimate breathing exercise. This sucks for Team Spoby, but at least Colin is cooler, better dressed and more British than hipster Jonny. We’ll pick a primary school teacher over a professional vandal any day.
• Aria and Hanna tracked down Cyrus (Jake Weary) to a hospital burn unit. He whimpered that his injuries were no accident and wrote down the name “Varjak” (misread by the girls as “car jack” at first – but the guy’s been flayed alive, so we’re not judging his penmanship), an allusion to George Peppard’s role in Breakfast at Tiffany’s, Ali’s favorite movie. When they left, a supposed burn victim rose from a hospital cot, looking like a mummy, and approached Cyrus in a way that suggested Ali’s old runaway buddy would not be long for this world.
• Talia (Miranda Rae Mayo) quit The Brew and left her husband. Emily consoled her with a slow dance. A pageant official burst in and “encouraged” her to quit because of the contest’s morality standards – but she wasn’t being homophobic: The board was worried about Emily’s connection to accused killer Ali. Talia semi-blackmailed the official into giving Emily money to drop out. Cliffhanger!
• As hinted at the end of last week’s episode, A messed with Mike’s workout equipment (how dare you compromise his six pack!) so that, when Aria stood on it, it collapsed. Andrew (Brandon W. Jones) to the rescue! He explained that, if Mike had been pumping iron, his gorgeous skull would have been crushed by his weights. Yikes. Aria cried, Andrew offered his sleeve to wipe away her tears and the crazy kids finally kissed. Was it cheating? Earlier, Aria had insisted she and Ezra (Ian Harding) were “sort of” still dating. Something tells us this will go down about as well as Ross and Rachel’s “break” on Friends.
• In the season’s most poignant moment, Hanna finally visited Ali in jail, and the dethroned queen bee offered what might have been her first ever sincere apology: “I honestly thought that I was helping you guys, telling you what to wear, how to act, who to like. And then, when you stopped listening, I found new people who would. Being here, no one listens to me. I can’t even decide what to wear or what to eat or when to shower. I’m told everything, everything’s an order, and I never realized how bad that felt to be on the other side of that, so I’m sorry.”
• “When our family is making field trips to prison, I figured I ought to give him a jingle.” –Veronica Hastings (Lesley Fera)
• “Emily’s already popping and locking my way to college.” –Hanna
• “How am I supposed to get on a plane? What if I find a pinky toe in my checked luggage?” –Spencer
• “Keep calm but watch your carry-on.” –A, texting Spencer
Questions for Next Week
• Who is Varjak?
• What is the “whole truth” Ali wants to tell so badly?
• To whom is A slipping money in the prison Bible?
• When will Toby (Keegan Allen) and Ezra learn of their girlfriends’ betrayals?
• Is Spencer going to hook up with Colin?
Most Likely to Be A
• Bethany. As commenters have pointed out, she could have been in the pilot … inside the casket. But is she dead? Alive? PLL has only flirted with the supernatural, but, at this point, anything is possible.
• Aria. We’ve been down this road before, but she still seems the most likely suspect out of all of the Liars.
• Mona. Yeah, we saw her corpse … or did we? This show’s been known to include some freaky-looking dolls. She’s crazy enough to have been A the first time around and get committed to Radley … maybe this was all part of a master plan to totally screw with everyone’s heads. And no one hates Ali more than Mona.
• Toby. Perhaps he joined the police force not to protect Spencer, but himself. That would also explain why he’s been less lovey-dovey with Spence lately: He’s got all the ins he needs without her.
Luckily, there are only a few more episodes until we find out the truth – and can stop all this wild speculation (as fun as it’s been)!
Pretty Little Liars airs Tuesdays (8 p.m. ET) on ABC Family.