The 25-year-old opened up about her fears on Monday’s episode of the MTV reality show, telling her friend Quay that she was nervous about her impending due date while describing where she stood in her relationship with the baby’s father.
“Chris didn’t come to my last ultrasound because he slept through his alarm, and I haven’t talked to him since,” Lowry said.
“Do you think he’ll come? Do you want him to?” Quay asked.
“No,” Lowry said. “I mean, part of me doesn’t think that he deserves it. I just have a lot of mixed emotions about it. Sometimes I want him to be there, sometimes I’m like f— it.”
Quay said Lowry was holding on to hope that Chris would show up to her delivery, but the reality star wouldn’t hear of it.
“I don’t want to have the hope, though,” she said. “I mean, I want to be like how Briana [DeJesus] was when she was describing her situation with Luis.” (Lowry’s ex-husband Javi Marroquin told PEOPLE recently he was dating DeJesus.)
Lowry continued, “Like, he cheated on her and that was it. Why can’t that be me?”
On her way to a scheduled doctor’s appointment for an ultrasound, Lowry called her friend Sterling and explained her fears.
“I’m just freaking out,” she said, crying. “I’m upset because I feel like I’m about to do this by myself.”
“And, I don’t care about the relationship or anything like that,” Lowry continued, referring to the possibility of her and Chris getting back together. “But, it’s like, he won’t pick up the phone if he’s with another girl. He won’t pick up the phone. So, I’m scared that if I call him when I’m in labor or something, he literally won’t show up.”
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In the last minute of the episode, Chris did turn up at Lowry’s appointment.
Lowry gave birth to her third son, Lux Russell, in August. She has two older sons: 7-year-old Isaac with ex boyfriend Jo Rivera and 3-year-old Lincoln, whom she shares with ex-husband Marroquin.
Teen Mom 2 airs Mondays (9 p.m. ET) on MTV.