"I'm always depressed, all the time. I have to constantly bring myself out of it," said Pete Davidson

By Natalie Stone
February 24, 2020 07:05 PM
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Pete Davidson is opening up his depression and ongoing struggles with mental health.

In a lengthy interview with Charlamagne Tha God published to YouTube on Monday, Davidson got candid about his struggles with suicidal thoughts and how he constantly feels depressed.

“I’m always depressed, all the time. I have to constantly bring myself out of it,” said Davidson. “I wake depressed, but now I know my steps. I have to go outside and be in sun for a little bit, or go for a walk. It’s all just programming yourself to trick your brain.”

The Saturday Night Live actor also revealed that while he’s contemplated suicide, he “can’t, because I’ve got a mom and a sister and a family.”

“I’ve always been suicidal, but I’ve never had the balls, you know. Which I’m very lucky,” said Davidson. “For the first time, when I went away this time, I felt like I had maybe, almost, the balls. Because when you’re not feeling good and you’re going through all this stuff and there’s people at your house in Staten Island, it just really drives you f— crazy.”

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Last week, the comedian reportedly confirmed that he sought treatment at the Sierra Tucson treatment center in Arizona during a stand-up show at Carolines on Broadway in New York City.

While he didn’t reveal the reason behind his stay, Davidson reportedly said he spent his time in the facility working on his comedy. According to Page Six, Davidson said he used the pseudonym “Howard” while in rehab and joked about hanging out in the “butt hut,” where patients gathered to smoke cigarettes.

The Sierra Tucson facility treats individuals struggling with substance abuse, as well as eating disorders, trauma-related issues, mood and anxiety disorders and chronic pain, according to its website.

Pete Davidson
Pete Davidson
| Credit: FilmMagic

During his interview with Charlamagne Tha God, Davidson also admitted, “I hit [rock bottom] all the time.”

“My rock bottom is when people are scared for my life and I have to go away, and then I have to bring myself back up again. I think I’ve hit it a few times. As long as you’re around good, supportive people, and if you’re strong enough, you’ll be able to get out of it,” said Davidson.

“It’s usually, like, I’m doing a little too much shrooms and a little too much acid and having a little too much fun and not sleeping, not taking good care of myself,” he explained. “When you don’t sleep and you have a mental illness and you’re doing all this s— … you just go a little nuts. … It’s very manic and very sleepless.”

For Davidson, being in the public eye has admittedly been difficult.

“I’m much more insecure, much more unsure of myself than I’ve ever been. I’m also just embarrassed. … It sucks, dude. I’m not going to lie. In order for me to go out, I have to plan it,” he said.

To help him cope with his mental health battles, Davidson said that working serves as a positive outlet.

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Pete Davidson
| Credit: Daniel Boczarski/Getty

“It’s the only thing [that helps]. I love it. I love writing, I love hanging with my friends, they’re all really funny and cool,” he said. “It’s the ultimate distraction.”

This isn’t the first time that Davidson has addressed his mental health.

Davidson revealed in 2017 that he has borderline personality disorder after years of battling depression and anxiety. He also previously sought treatment in 2016.

During a “Weekend Update” segment on SNL in December, he seemingly hinted that he’d be seeking treatment again.

“I’m going on a little ‘vacation.’ You know, the kind of vacation where insurance pays for some of it, and they take your phone and shoelaces,” he said. “And you have roommates, but it stills costs like, $100,000.”

If you or someone you know is considering suicide, please contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255), text “STRENGTH” to the Crisis Text Line at 741-741 or go to suicidepreventionlifeline.org.