Patton Oswalt has penned a touching tribute to his late wife, Michelle McNamara, who died unexpectedly a year ago today at the age of 46.
In a lengthy Facebook post, the actor and comedian expressed a combination of grief, gratitude, and perseverance.
“It’s awful, but it’s not fatal,” Oswalt began. “That’s the dispatch I’m sending back from exactly one year into this shadow-slog.”
He went on to say that he took off his wedding ring and placed it in a box of keepsakes. “I couldn’t bear removing it since April 21st, 2016,” he wrote. “But now it felt obscene. That anonymous poem about the man mourning his dead lover for a year and a day, for craving a kiss from her ‘clay cold lips.’ I was inviting more darkness. Removing the ring was removing the last symbol of denial of who I was now, and what my life is, and what my responsibilities are. But it’s not fatal.”
Oswalt married McNamara, a writer who created the website True Crime Diary, in 2005, and they welcomed a daughter, Alice, four years later. Oswalt revealed in February that McNamara died from a combination of prescription medications and an undiagnosed heart condition.
In his Facebook post Friday, Oswalt added, “I’m not making today any sort of dark ritual or painful memorial. No graveside visit. Those are for when Alice and I have something exciting to say to her. No candle lighting or balloon launching. We think of her every day — she’s still so tied into our worlds, in a way that’s encouraging, and energizing. So why light a flame that will die, or release a balloon that will disappear? Michelle’s gone but she wasn’t the kind of soul that disappears or dies out.”