"It just seemed so one-sided," Nikki Bella said of the way her breakup with John Cena was portrayed on the E! series
Bella, 36, said recently that she wishes Cena’s side of the breakup would have had more airtime on her E! series, Total Bellas, than it received.
“The one thing I really regret about showcasing the breakup is that no one got to hear [John’s] voice, and it just seemed so one-sided,” Bella told Health magazine in a recent interview.
“I felt like that wasn’t fair to him because he was on this journey with us from the beginning,” she continued, explaining that Cena “never took one paycheck” for appearing on the reality show.
“It was beautiful — he was fully there to support me,” she said of her ex. “I’ll never forget his support and his love. That’s what made me sad — I don’t want to say it became the Nikki show, but in a way it did because you didn’t get to see John anymore.”
“My family loves John. I love John — he’s such an amazing person,” Bella continued. “The timing was off. But I love my family for that — they have never once been pro Nicole in this, and that is what has helped me grow. I didn’t have my family coddling me.”
“It scarred me a lot and that’s why at times, I’ll post Artem and then I won’t for a while. It scared me about marriage, it scared me about kids,” she said, speaking at the 2nd Annual Girl Up #GirlHero Awards. “It’s two things that I really wanted in my life and now I’m so timid of it, which kind of sucks. But I definitely have those scars and I’m working on healing them and doing work on myself weekly.”
Bella called off her engagement to Cena for the second time in a July 2018 episode of Total Bellas. She told PEOPLE in a statement one day after the episode aired that “after much time and soul-searching alone and together, we have decided to officially part ways.”
“I had a beautiful and loving 6-year relationship with a wonderful man,” she said. “I have the utmost respect for John, but I know this is what’s best for me.”
Bella added to Health that Chigvintsev “is the first person I’ve been with where I feel like I can be Nicole and never fear he’s going to leave me for it.”
“We all have a little crazy in us, and he loves my crazy,” she gushed of her beau, whom she first met when they danced together on Dancing with the Stars in 2017. “He’s also the first person I’ve communicated everything I feel with. [Twin sister] Brie was saying I’m almost too honest with him. But I’d rather him know everything.”
As for what’s next in Bella and Chigvintsev’s relationship, the reality star said that while she “definitely” hopes to one day have children, she’s willing to wait — and revealed that she’s freezing her eggs in order to do so.
“I definitely want to be a mom one day, but I don’t want it now. I’m in this unfortunate situation where I’m 36 and everyone is reminding me, ‘Your eggs, your eggs!’ So I’m freezing my eggs,” Bella told Health.
“I also found out I have PCOS — it kills your fertility,” she said, adding that it’s causing “brown spots all over my face, acne, weight fluctuations, and hair loss.”
Bella revealed that the diagnosis was an emotional one, saying that she was “devastated” at the news.
“I just pray I have some fertile eggs left and that I can still be a mom. So yes, I do feel like being a mom is in my future. I am just not sure how soon,” she said.
And while Bella’s relationship with Chigvintsev is going strong — Bella recently met Chigvintsev’s parents and the pair are hosting Christmas together this year — Cena is in a new relationship as well.
He and Shay Shariatzadeh made their red carpet debut at the Playing with Fire premiere in New York City in October, telling Entertainment Tonight, “It’s a wonderful day for a movie premiere, and I got a beautiful date.”
“What’s truly special about this one is that, no matter what projects I’m involved in the future, this one will always have a special meaning because I got to film a special project and meet someone special,” the wrestler-turned-actor added.