July 18, 2018 09:56 AM

Even after reconciling with John Cena, Nikki Bella is still having doubts about their relationship.

In a sneak peek at Sunday’s episode of Total Bellas, the pro-wrestler admits that she and Cena have drifted apart during the wedding planning process. (On the show, they split briefly already.)

While drinking tea with her friends during her Paris bachelorette party, Bella says Cena’s only request for their wedding is that she “shows up.”

“Every little part of this wedding, it’s like, it’s going back,” she says.

And with Cena traveling and remaining hands-off in the wedding planning, Bella feels like she’s “growing apart” from her fiancé.

“I feel like I’m continuing to grow more apart from John, and I should be growing closer to him,” Bella says in a confessional.But Bella isn’t quite ready to tell her friends and family how she’s feeling.
John Cena and Nikki Bella
Kevin Mazur/Fox/Getty

“I don’t want to ruin anyone’s weekend and they’re all here for me, so even though I’m feeling all these emotions, I just think I want to keep this to myself for a bit longer,” Nikki says. “As long as I can, at least.”

RELATED: Nikki Bella Claims She and John Cena ‘Are Just Friends’ Right Now: ‘I Do Have Hope for Us’

After calling off their engagement in April, just three weeks before their May 5 wedding date, PEOPLE confirmed in June that Nikki and Cena are back together. Sources previously told PEOPLE that her decision to call it quits was due to their differing stances on marriage and having kids.

RELATED VIDEO: 5 Things To Know About John Cena and Nikki Bella

Earlier this month, Cena also publicly confirmed that after years of insisting he had no desire to start a family, he’d had a change of heart and vowed to get his vasectomy reversed.

But on in a recent YouTube video, Nikki claimed she and Cena are ‘just friends.’

“I’ll admit my relationship, it has been in a super emotional rollercoaster ride, and I think it’s hard for people to understand because we film and things get show months after,” she said. “I feel like I have to say what’s the update on John and I, but right now, we are just friends.”

Total Bellas airs Sundays (9 p.m. ET) on E!

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