The couple broke up briefly earlier this season on Total Bellas
Nikki Bella has made her decision.
In a sneak peek at Sunday’s Total Bellas season finale, the WWE star reveals to her mom and sister Brie that she’s calling off her and John Cena‘s upcoming wedding — again. (The couple broke up briefly earlier this season, reconciling only after Cena, 41, agreed to reverse his vasectomy and give her a child.)
“It’s tough because he’s like, fighting really hard for me,” says Nikki, 34. “And that makes it really tough.”
Nevertheless, Nikki admits that “there’s something that is making me not feel like I can walk down the aisle right now.”
“And that doesn’t mean ever with him — I just can’t do it right now,” she clarifies. “The tables have kind of turned. John is all in, will do anything to work on on us … and for some reason right now, I need to work on me. We naturally just give and sacrifice and I’ve been doing it for a long time.”
Tearing up, Nikki reveals she was up until 4 a.m. packing her belongings the night before.
“I was at the point where if I don’t pack up and leave now, I know my personality, I’m just going to put myself on the back-burner again,” she says. “I didn’t give myself long enough the first time when we called it off, and I should have given myself longer. But I got so excited that he wanted kids, I couldn’t believe it. I never thought I’d hear that, but I realized there’s just such a deeper problem.”
“So do you see yourself getting back with him?” asks Brie.
“He wants me to take the day to really think about it. But to have a healthy, happy lifetime with him, I have to take a while for myself,” says Nikki. “When I left, he wanted me to give him a few days to make my decision. This has been my issue the whole time — it’s that pressure thing. Everything has a time limit. You have to get married at this point, and you have to do this, and nothing can just be. So even when he gives me this time limit to make a decision on if I’ll get married or not … you can’t put a time limit on it. You just can’t.”
After calling off their engagement in April just three weeks before their May 5 wedding date, PEOPLE confirmed in June that Nikki and Cena are back together. Sources previously told PEOPLE that her decision to call it quits was due to their differing stances on marriage and having kids.
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But in a recent YouTube video, Nikki claimed she and Cena are “just friends.”
“I’ll admit, my relationship, it has been a super emotional roller coaster ride,” she said. “And I think it’s hard for people to understand, because we film and things get shown months after. I feel like I have to say what’s the update on John and I, but right now, we are just friends.”
The season finale of Total Bellas airs Sunday at 9 p.m. ET on E!