Nicole 'Snooki' Polizzi Was 'Forcing' Herself to Be 'Happy' Before Jersey Shore Retirement
The reality star announced her decision to leave the hit MTV show earlier this month
In a clip from Polizzi’s upcoming appearance on The Mel Robbins Show, the mom of three admits she was no longer enjoying the experience of filming the hit reality show.
“I think when I was, like, actually forcing myself to be in a situation that I wasn’t happy in,” she says when asked what her breaking point was. “Like, I was forcing myself to be ‘happy,’ and I’m like, ‘That’s not me. I’m not genuinely happy.’ That’s when I’m like, ‘I’m out.'”
But Polizzi says she didn’t make up her mind overnight.
“It was really hard,” she says. “But I had to think about my happiness and where I really wanted myself to be, and it’s being a mom and being [with my] kids and not drama and drinking … and drama.”
Polizzi, 32, announced her exit from Jersey Shore on Dec. 6 during an episode of her podcast It’s Happening with Snooki & Joey, explaining that being away from her kids while filming was “really, really hard.” She also said the show was “getting so dramatic” and that she didn’t like how she was being portrayed.
“I love you so much, and don’t hate me for my decision,” she said, addressing her fans. “I am retiring from Jersey Shore. I am not coming back to Jersey Shore for season 4 if there is one.”
“The main reason is really … I just can’t do it anymore,” continued Polizzi, who shares daughter Giovanna Marie, 5, and sons Lorenzo Dominic, 7 and Angelo James, 6 months, with husband Jionni LaValle. “Literally, leaving my kids to film it is really, really hard on me.”
“I try and quit every single day,” she admitted. “I quit every time we film because I just hate being away from the kids. I don’t like partying three days in a row. It’s just not my life anymore. I want to be home with the kids. I don’t mind here and there going to a dinner or whatever, but it’s just really hard for me to leave the kids and film the show.”
At the time, a source told PEOPLE her costars were surprised by the announcement.
“Production knew that she had been thinking about this so they were not surprised,” the source said. “The most surprised are the cast, but I think they all understand that she is just exhausted and wants to try and do something on her own. I think she just is probably burned out.”
According to the source, Polizzi might not be putting her Jersey Shore days behind her for good.
“Everybody is saying she’ll be back after she takes a step back for a little,” the source said.
Polizzi’s episode of The Mel Robbins Show will air on Jan. 10 (check local listings).