“We still don’t live together,” the Younger star, 29, tells PEOPLE. “We see each other on a weekly basis. We’re FaceTiming all day, everyday.”
The queer, polyamorous pair — who dated on and off for 12 years — did just buy a house together in upstate New York, but Tortorella claims the only difference remains how he and Meyers are perceived by other couples.
“People will be so quick to be like, ‘This is how long we’ve been married. This is what works and what doesn’t,’ ” he says. “As much as we love hearing your stories, we’re on our own path here. But it’s sweet.”
Meyer, a fitness instructor, proposed to Tortorella in 2017 one day when he came over to help her remove a dead rat from her apartment. In an essay for them about their wedding day, she explains, “I told him I loved him, that I was going to have his kids regardless, and that I needed health insurance (true romance).”
“It’s probably the most I’ve ever heard congratulations in my entire life — and I’ve booked movies and TV shows and written books!” the All of It Is You: Poetry author tells PEOPLE. “It’s the one [thing] that people see as like a huge milestone in your life. And it’s interesting to digest that. I think there’s so many things in life that can make you happy that you don’t get congratulated for; like, congratulations for getting out of bed this morning and smiling.”
His Younger character Josh represents a completely different school of thought when it comes to love and marriage, tying the knot with an Irish woman he knew for only a few weeks after things didn’t work out in his last relationship.
“Josh jumped into this impulsive relationship with Claire as his heart was cut bleeding wide open, and this has been like a nice, quick little Band-Aid for him, but I don’t think the Band-Aid is quite big enough, and he struggles with that at the beginning of the season,” the Illinois native teases.
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While Tortorella says it’s “fun” playing someone so different than himself, he’s also glad the role has given him a platform to discuss LGBTQ rights.
“Playing Josh has been such a privilege in so many ways of my life,” Tortorella says. “I’m known around the world at this point as this super white, super cis, super straight, cool tattoo artist. And that allows me in so many ways to speak about other parts of my life that don’t fit into that ‘normal’ box.”
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The actor continues, “I’ve been having public conversations about the community and my relationships for quite a bit now and the second I did and I realized exactly what my privilege was. [With it] came this reasonability to widen the conversations as large as I could. It’s really just begun. I really want to take this conversation to a global level.”
Younger season 5 premieres June 5 on TV Land at 10 p.m. ET.