Nico Tortorella and Bethany Meyers tied the knot March 9

By Natalie Stone and People Staff
March 19, 2018 05:04 PM
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Every love story is unique, and Nico Tortorella and his new bride Bethany Meyers’ is no different.

After 11 years together, the actor — who is sexually fluid — and fitness and lifestyle entrepreneur — who identifies as gay — wed on March 9 in an intimate courthouse ceremony, the Younger star announced Saturday on Instagram.

“Just married. For real,” Tortorella, 29, wrote alongside a series of photos of their wedding day, adding that the couple had written about their story for LGBTQ publication them.

For their special day, they wore “genderblending ensembles” that incorporated both dresses and pants because as the actor wrote in the publication, “in this relationship, we both wear the pants and the dress.”

In honor of their non-traditional romance, here’s a look back (including old photos!) at what the couple has said about their polyamorous relationship of 11 years.

What Is Sexual Fluidity?

During an interview with Access Hollywood Live, the Younger star opened up about what the label — or lack thereof — of sexual fluidity means to him.

“It means I do whatever I want whenever I want it,” he said. “And I don’t really have a problem with it!”

Tortorella said he’s always taken this unrestricted approach to sexuality.

“I think we just kind of have to take the weight off of it a little bit,” he said. “Look, it’s 2016, we live in a beautiful country. There’s a lot of crazy stuff happening, but I still love where we live. And I think that everybody has the right to do what they want and be the person they want to be — as long as it’s effecting positive change in the world.”

“It’s an open conversation with people in my life, some who I’ve been in relationships with, some who I look up to in a lot of different ways,” Tortorella said about his podcast, The Love Bomb. “We’re just having conversations about love, sexuality, relationships, gender identity and how everybody is an individual.”

A Family of Their Own

“I think the way I use the word fluidity is like fluid in everything, fluid in train of thought,” Tortorella said. “It doesn’t always have to be one thing. The one thing anybody can talk about, no matter race, religion, sexuality or gender, is love.”

“We’re family,” said Tortorella, who, alongside Meyers, did not use the “boyfriend” or “girlfriend” labels.

Meyers admitted that navigating their relationship hasn’t always been easy — especially when trying to figure out how other romantic partners factor in.

“I think we’re raised with this idea that you’re supposed to go and find ‘the one,’ especially women,” Meyers explained. “You’re looking for your Prince Charming. You need to be proposed to. There’s this one person you’re searching to find, so the idea of finding a stability partner, and having other things on top of that, feels too messy.”

The Purpose of an Open Relationship

On the premiere of Personal Space, Bravo’s six-episode digital talk show about romance, relatives and relationships, Tortorella defended his polyamorous sexual identity.

“I’m not in an open relationship so I can go out and just f— whoever I want,” Tortotella explained in a September 2017 Bravo clip. “For me, it’s more about the ability to emotionally connect with people outside of my primary partner.”

Meyers, who identifies as a lesbian, has said Tortorella is the only man she could imagine being with, and he’s been linked to actresses Sara Paxton and Olesya Rulin in the past.

Let’s Talk About Sex

In the September 2017 issue of The Advocate, Tortorella opened up about the physical aspect of his relationship. “For me, sex is such an explosive exchange of energy between two people that if you’re not connected, energetically, before you have sex, it can be damaging,” Tortorella said about popular dating apps that have created a hookup culture.

“I totally understand people who want to have casual sex,” he added. “I think what you have to do in this scenario is stay in your lane. Find people who want similar things — physically, energetically, and emotionally.”

While Tortorella and Meyers don’t seek to put labels on themselves or each other, they say they understand the world’s need for them.

“I can be emotionally, physically attracted to men,” he said. “I can be emotionally, physically attracted to women. The ‘B’ in LGBTQ-plus has been fought for, for so long. I’m not going to be the person that’s like, ‘No, I need a ‘P,’ I need another letter!’ I stand by people that have paved this way for somebody like me.”