"But as a caretaker, these are the thoughts that go through your head because the medication got them on a roller coaster, and they lash out on you," said NeNe Leakes
In a new video — “Nene Leakes: My Thoughts and Opinions…Ladies Night Comedy Tour!” — shared Sunday on her Life of Nene YouTube account, the Real Housewives of Atlanta alum questioned if someone’s illness could be “payback” for something they did in the past.
“There’s a lot of things that go through your head,” NeNe, 51, began about being a caretaker. “And people don’t know that. I want to show some love to all the caretakers because what goes through your head is — I’m just saying this for real, please don’t put this against me. I’m just saying this for real.”
“As a caretaker, you start — it depends on where your relationship is. You look at the person and think about, you know people love to say, ‘Karma is a bitch’ and karma this and karma that. Honest to God, I’m giving y’all the raw, raw, raw. You look at the person and be like, ‘What is that?’ Now, that ain’t right, right? But you’re human,” she said.
NeNe admitted, “You look at the person and say, ‘You did so many different things to me. Is this the payback?’ You hope not. I’m taking about a caretaker, caretaker. ‘Maybe you’re getting it back from that time you cheated on me.’ You don’t never know. You don’t ever know. But as a caretaker, these are the thoughts that go through your head because the medication got them on a roller coaster ride, and they lash out on you. It’s a lot, it’s a lot.”
Her comments come three months after she revealed in previously unaired RHOA footage, released by Bravo in December, that Gregg had been unfaithful in their marriage.
When asked by Shamari DeVoe during a game of Truth or Dare if there has “ever been any infidelity” in her marriage, NeNe admitted “yes.”
She clarified that it was Gregg and said, “There were many days when I just thought I was going to divorce Gregg.”
“I think my breaking point came when Gregg and I couldn’t communicate,” she said. “Gregg has never been a good communicator. And the way he communicates now is because he’s learned a lot.”
NeNe and Gregg have been married since 1997 and share two sons: Bryson and Brentt. In 2010, the couple separated, then divorced the following year — only to remarry in June 2013 at a ceremony that was filmed for her spinoff, I Dream of NeNe: The Wedding.
Weeks later, NeNe slammed Gregg for the way he was coping amid his battle and called her husband out on Twitter for being “mean” and “grouchy.”
“I would just think if I have or had cancer, I would see life so differently!” she wrote. “Not being mean, grouchy and evil for no real reason! But that’s me. Pray for me.”
In a second tweet, she told her almost 2 million followers that the situation is more complicated than it appears.
“I’m ALWAYS the bad guy so I’ll take that if you only knew,” she wrote.
NeNe also expressed similar sentiments in the comments section of Gregg’s Instagram after he posted a message “to all my men” about loving forgiveness.
In since-deleted comments captured by The Shade Room, NeNe told Gregg to take his own advice.
“Well, u need to do everything you posted! Practice what you preach,” she said, before adding, “You need to pray for yourself! This mean, grouchy, evil stuff u pulling these days are NOT cool.”
NeNe previously opened up to PEOPLE about caring for Gregg as he continues to fight cancer, admitting that it’s not always easy.
“It’s very, very hard to be a caretaker,” she said. “People call and they say, ‘How’s Gregg doing?’ and I want to throw the phone and say, ‘How the f— am I doing? I’m going crazy over here, Gregg is wearing me out!’ I am not good at this s—! I would rather hire somebody. Gregg doesn’t wants me to hire somebody, but I’m just not good. I’m not good at fluffing the pillow; I’m good at buying the pillow.”
Mostly, she said his illness has caused a bit of a divide in their marriage.
“He’s changed as a person, his attitude changed,” she said. “I feel like that day, I lost my husband. Our whole dynamic changed. Sometimes I forget that he’s sick and I need to remind myself because he’s so on the edge. He’s not nice, but he can’t help it.”
Earlier this week, NeNe denied reports that she and Gregg had separated. In an Instagram post, the reality star said that while they’ve had their struggles, they are still going strong.
“Oh Lawd! They say we separated now @greggleakes #fakenews I appreciate you tho Gregg for accepting and understanding that being a care taker is something I’ve never done and i have truly done the best i know how all while making tons of mistakes along the way,” she wrote alongside a photo of herself and Gregg laughing.
“You never asked to get sick and We were both thrown into these new positions over nite but whew chile you have kicked cancers ass! I can’t wait for u to share with the world your exciting news in a couple of weeks,” she concluded.