Millionaire Matchmaker Patti Stanger’s Love Advice for Jessica, John & Jen
She’s feisty, frank and unafraid to tell it like it is — and that’s exactly why clients hire Patti Stanger to help them find love. Though she got engaged herself earlier this year, Stanger, 48, hasn’t mellowed one bit. In fact, the third season of her Bravo show premieres Tuesday (10 p.m. EST) with more male and female millionaires looking to her to find a mate. Calling from Los Angeles, Stanger promises plenty of drama this year — and even some famous faces in the mix — and can’t help but dole out some (free) advice for lovelorn celebs. –Brian Orloff
Give us a rundown on what to expect this season.There are a lot more practical tips and information that everyone can use. We don’t just want to be reality TV that’s funny and then you turn us off. We don’t want to be Jersey Shore. Everyone is single right now. You can be 18 or 80 and you can be single, and nobody’s teaching anyone how to maneuver the waters online or with text messaging. … The other thing is we pumped up the volume on the gay dating. It was a really huge success story for us. Also, Jason Davis Gummi Bear is on. I know he just went to rehab and I had a real problem with him. He wouldn’t listen to me. He was crazy and off the wall — and I tried to get him to quit smoking. I call him Huggy Bear.
What’s the biggest difference between millionaires and the millionairesses you work with?There’s the angry guy who’s made all this money and still can’t get the cheerleader he didn’t get in high school. But when it comes to women, they wake up at 40, their eggs are dried up and they’re like, “What the eff?” And then they start to share all their frustration and resentment — and I don’t have time for it because I’ve got to work. They’re high maintenance. Like, Tiger Woods, a perfect example — if he joined my service he would never want any of his exes or his wife to know his dirty laundry even if he was getting a divorce. Women want everyone to know they’ve been wronged.
You recently got engaged. How’s everything going with your fianc , Andy Friedman?He’s my best friend. We’re not tabloid whores. You don’t see us on the red carpet. We go to the mall. We have family that live in Westlake Village — which is like suburbia. We eat ice cream on the weekends and go see Avatar. I know that I live in a millionaire world by day, but at night, I’m Stepford. I cook. It’s kind of weird because I’m not what you think I am. If I were not a matchmaker, I’d be a chef.
Let’s talk about celebs. What tips do you have for Jessica Simpson in terms of finding love this year?I really love Jessica. I wish she had met Nick Lachey after 30 — and I think they would have lasted. I think they met way too young and had too much too soon. I wish Jessica would take her time and really qualify instead of jumping into relationships so quickly. She’s got to stop it. You know the way she does a business deal — where her father assesses all the situations before he signs his name on the dotted line? She needs to do the same thing with men — and not give her heart away so quick. She’s misunderstood.
Lindsay Lohan?Well, Lindsay needs to get off of everything. She needs to get out of the spotlight, go to an island and really get clean. I think she’s immature. I know she’s got bad parents but let’s not blame the parents on this because we’ve all had a parent or two that’s been bad to us, and we’ve grown up.
And, finally, what about John Mayer?John Mayer — he needs to own up to his mistakes because karma’s a bitch, baby. Let me tell you something. He’ll be one of those 45-year-old men still searching for the perfect girl and abusing and using. Then one day, the pee-pee’s going to go limp and Cialis and Viagra ain’t going to help him. I’d put him into singles boot camp right next to Jennifer Aniston. The two of them, I’d like to put into boot camp.
Tell us: Will you watch the new season of Millionaire Matchmaker?Peter Tangen/Bravo