Mayim Bialik on 'The'  'Big Bang Theory ' Ending: 'Am I Happy? Of Course Not'

"And now I start to figure out what next. Where will life take me? Where will this career go? What do I want?" says Bialik

The Big Bang Theory

Mayim Bialik is admittedly not happy that The Big Bang Theory is coming to an end.

The actress addressed the news that the hit sitcom’s upcoming twelfth season will be its last in an open letter on her website, Grok Nation.

“Am I happy? Of course not. This has been my job since Melissa Rauch and I joined the cast as regulars in season 4,” she wrote. “I love my job. I love my castmates, and I feel such appreciation for our incredible crew, our brave writers, our entire staff, and our amazing fans. So many people are a part of our Big Bang family.”

Bialik wrote that saying goodbye to her character Amy will be especially tough.

“This is hard. I love coming to work and pretending to be Amy,” she wrote. “She’s a riot. She’s me, and I am her. And soon she will not be mine to create.”

The Comic-Con Conundrum

The mom of two admitted that she’s uncertain of what her future will hold after the end of the beloved series.

“Being an actor is profoundly humbling, incredibly gratifying, and terribly complex,” she said. “Being an employed actor on what is the #1 comedy in America is unbelievable. And the fact that so many people consider us a part of their lives and families is powerful. I don’t take any of it for granted.”

She continued, “And now I start to figure out what next. Where will life take me? Where will this career go? What do I want?”

She ended the note with a heartfelt thank you to her fans.

“Mostly, I want to thank our fans for loving us hard enough to keep this train going for 12 years,” she wrote. “And when it’s time to get off, another train will pull up to the station. ‘You don’t need no baggage, you just get on board.’ ”

In addition to Bialik and Rauch, the series stars Kaley Cuoco, Johnny Galecki, Jim Parsons, Simon Helberg, Kunal Nayyar.

RELATED VIDEO: The Big Bang Theory Reportedly Ended Because Jim Parsons Wanted to Leave

Warner Bros. Television and CBS announced Wednesday that the Emmy-winning series, which debuted in 2007, will end its run in May 2019 at the end of the upcoming season 12.

According to Entertainment Weekly, CBS was trying to negotiate two more seasons, but Parsons was ready to say goodbye to the sitcom — and there’s no show without Dr. Sheldon Cooper. (CBS had no comment and a rep for Parsons did not respond to PEOPLE’s requests for comment, but Parsons addressed the show ending with a lengthy note on Instagram, saying he will miss “all of this more than I can say and more than I can know at this time.”)

In a joint statement, Warner Bros. Television, CBS and Chuck Lorre Productions said, “We are forever grateful to our fans for their support of The Big Bang Theory during the past twelve seasons. We, along with the cast, writers and crew, are extremely appreciative of the show’s success and aim to deliver a final season, and series finale, that will bring The Big Bang Theory to an epic creative close.”

The final season of The Big Bang Theory premieres Sept. 24 at 8 p.m. ET on CBS.

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