After her last relationship left her with a broken heart, Lillian Vilchez focused on her career, but the real estate agent is now ready to find lasting love with Tom Wilson, a yacht interior specialist, on Married at First Sight (a social experiment show where couples meet for the first time on their wedding day). The newlyweds are alternating each week blogging exclusively about the ups and downs of marriage for PEOPLE. Check back after every episode and follow them on Twitter: @Lillian_MAFS and @Tom_MAFS!
Real life is setting in. Tom and I have only been married for two weeks, but it feels like we’ve been married a lot longer than that. We came back from the honeymoon, went house-hunting, moved in with each other and are trying to get back to our daily routines while incorporating a new spouse into the mix. It’s overwhelming to say the least. To have all these things happen at once while trying to cultivate a healthy relationship with Tom and get to know each other is A LOT!
I wanted to get married at first sight because of the potential of finding love and spending the rest of my life with someone and eventually forming a family, so it was very important to talk to Tom about children. I definitely want a child one day. Not right now. (I mean come on, I’m only 25!) And I know it’s important to be with someone for several years and build a solid foundation before starting to think about children. But my sister asking us to babysit Emma kind of sped up the talk about kids.
I wanted to hear Tom’s standpoint and for him to know that, even though we have only known each other for two weeks, I’m thinking beyond the six weeks of the experiment and that one day I will get the baby itch. I guess it kind of freaked him out, though (typical guy, LOL), and his reaction made it seem like he doesn’t want children.
Needless to say, my insecurities set in, and I start to think that the picture I have in my head for the future may not become reality. That’s when I start thinking, “Well, why should I continue to open up my heart to someone who maybe doesn’t want the same thing as me?” And being the over-thinker that I am, I was reading too much into Tom’s reaction – not realizing that he wasn’t saying he didn’t want children – he just wasn’t ready for that talk because we’ve only known each other for a short period of time.
Men have such a different way of thinking and, as women, we can get so crazy when a guy isn’t on our same wavelength. It becomes difficult to put ourselves in their shoes. Realizing that, it became important to me to see where Tom was coming from and understand his way of thinking. I felt it would be unfair if I didn’t do that.
And as soon as I relaxed a little, I saw how Tom was with Emma and it gave me the feels! I was relieved to see how great he is with children! Watching him take the initiative to play with her while I made lunch showed me how much of an effort he is making. I love that Tom is a modern-day MacGyver, haha! He made a bubble-blower out of a wire hanger so that Emma could make giant bubbles. I seriously would’ve never thought of that! It was so sweet of him – he went out of his way to make Emma feel comfortable and at home. And I know she had a blast!
Backing up a little, I was really glad Tom told me about the bus the way he did (basically telling me as we were driving up to it, LOL) because that way, I was able to understand his reasoning and appreciate the beauty of it. If he would have told me before I saw it, my mind would have gone into overthinking overdrive. I understand how hard it was for Tom to tell me about the bus because I had a hard time telling my sister and it’s not even my bus!
I was worried about what her reaction would be because it’s hard to understand it unless you’re looking at it. Plus, my sister tends to have terrible “word vomit” and doesn’t think about what she’s about to say before she says it. Yikes!
But she took it surprisingly well and, of course, as a big sister, she had to throw in some of her jokes. I guess I was worried that she would stop seeing Tom for the person he is and would only see a bus, but then she said, “A person isn’t defined by what they wear or where they live, but by who they are on the inside.” That’s when I knew that just like me, she was OK with the bus! Yay!
At this point, our relationship is far from perfect but we are putting in a maximum effort to get to know each other and let our relationship blossom naturally. I know there will be happy, sad, crazy, wild, fun, angry moments and I can’t wait for us to face it all together. I hope we’re able to overcome any obstacle presented to us and grow as individuals as time goes on.
Married at First Sight airs Tuesdays (8:30 p.m. ET) on FYI.