"I didn't want to kill myself physically, but I wanted to kill that personality," she says in an exclusive clip of WE tv's Mama June: Family Crisis

By Ashley Boucher
June 18, 2020 11:04 PM
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Mama June Shannon
| Credit: WE TV

Mama June Shannon is opening up about her past "mistakes" — and sharing how she felt about herself while she was using drugs.

"I lost who I was for a while, I do believe that," Shannon, 40, says in an exclusive clip from an upcoming episode of Mama June: Family Crisis.

"But I feel like there's a reason I've always felt this way. There's mistakes I've made in the past I wish I wouldn't have done, but they're lessons learned. And that's the true s—. That sounds crazy but that's my terminology. I've felt that way all my life."

"I hated the person I was. And I wanted to kill that person I was, if that makes sense," Shannon says. "I didn't want to kill myself physically, but I wanted to kill that personality."

"I do believe that the person I wanted to kill is in the past," she continues in the footage. "I hated that person I was."

During a recent episode of the WE tv reality series, Shannon revealed that at one point, she was using as much as $2,500 worth of methamphetamine every day.

"The only reason I sold the house, we was dead f—— broke," she said. In addition to using methamphetamine, Shannon and boyfriend Eugene Edward "Geno" Doak used Fioricet, a prescription pain medicine used to treat the symptoms of tension headache, and Xanax, a benzodiazepine medication used to treat anxiety and panic disorders.

"Because you know at that point, we was doing quite a bit," Shannon said. "I mean, it was a couple ounces a day."

In March of last year, Shannon was arrested on charges of possession of a controlled substance and drug paraphernalia after she allegedly had crack cocaine and a crack pipe on her.

Doak was also arrested and charged with third-degree domestic violence, possession of a controlled substance and possession of drug paraphernalia, PEOPLE previously reported. Both were charged with felonies for drug possession in September of last year, and the couple's attorney entered not guilty pleas on their behalf the following month.

Shannon's drug use and following arrest have put a strain on her relationship with her daughters, Lauryn "Pumpkin" Shannon and Alana “Honey Boo Boo” Thompson, though Shannon and Lauryn had a tearful reunion earlier this season.

Mama June: Family Crisis airs Fridays (9 p.m. ET) on WE tv.