'Love Is Blind' 's Raven Cut Off Communication with SK After His Infidelity: 'I've Never Been So Upset'

"I realized it does not serve me to still be in communication with him, so we've had to set that boundary and we haven't spoken," Raven Ross tells PEOPLE of her ex-fiancé

Raven Ross is opening up about the emotional toll her split from Sikiru "SK" Alagbada took on her heart.

The Love Is Blind star tells PEOPLE exclusively that their split — which unfolded in November, following their second engagement and allegations that SK had cheated — was "the toughest thing I've ever had to go through."

"I think [getting engaged again] did make it a little harder, because we were going from such a high place. Our relationship was going really, really well to then such a low place. It was really hard," she explains. "Of course, I've gone through a lot of breakups, but this to me was the first time with a person I was really [invested in] ... and it took me forever."

"When we were getting married and stuff [the first time], neither of us were in a good place to do that. But once we moved past that and a lot of time had passed, I feel like we both were really able to let our guard down with each other and to be open and honest," she continues. "And so that was my first experience ever in my life doing that with my partner."

She adds, "It was a huge shock to me that still doing it the right way didn't work.... I'm not going to lie: I've never been so upset, ever. It was a crazy situation for sure. It was the toughest thing I've ever had to go through, but it made me grow so fast from that and really realize what I don't want."

Raven and SK. Sara Mally/Netflix

Raven and SK initially decided not to wed during the Love Is Blind season 3 finale, only to reconnect after production wrapped.

In November, news of SK's rumored infidelity broke online in November when a TikToker shared what she claimed were text messages between her and the reality star. SK denied the accusations in a statement to Life & Style, noting there was time between filming Love Is Blind and his reunion with Raven where he was a single man.

"When Raven and I left the altar, I went about living my life as a single guy and she went about living her life as a single woman," he said at the time. "The path leading to Raven and I together was not straightforward. It took a while for Raven and I to even consider or attempt to start dating again. People don't realize that."

However, the Love Is Blind: After the Altar special — which premiered Friday on Netflix — presented different claims when viewers saw SK propose to Raven post-filming, only to be followed by a video from Raven claiming SK had been unfaithful to her during their engagement. (SK didn't comment on the accusation in the special.)

Love Is Blind. (L to R) SK Alagbada, Raven Ross in episode 309 of Love Is Blind. Cr. Courtesy of Netflix © 2022
Raven and SK. Netflix

After their split, Raven says she and SK maintained communication for a while because of how big a role he played in her life. However, the pilates instructor — who says she learned about SK's alleged infidelity on TikTok with the rest of the world — soon realized that she needed to cut off her ex.

"Early on, totally, we were still communicating. We were completely not together, but this is a person who was a huge pillar in my life," she says. "It's hard to give up that part of yourself. But yeah, pretty early on after, I realized it does not serve me to still be in communication with him, so we've had to set that boundary and we haven't spoken."

The same goes for SK's family — particularly his mom, whose great relationship with Raven was highlighted on Love Is Blind. "He has a great supportive family and they're really there for him, so I haven't had any contact with them," she shares.

As she continues to grieve the end of their romance, Raven says she's been reflecting on past moments where she suspected something might be going on with SK but never raised the issue.

"I feel like I keep saying this, but hindsight is 20/20. All the time," she explains. "Especially early on after this happened, I'd wake up and be talking to myself, like 'Do you remember that time? That was a time when you felt like that.' And of course, it doesn't feel good to not be respected by your partner. But also it made me realize, 'Raven, all of these times you felt something and you never spoke up about it.'"

"And it was because I wanted to avoid hard conversations. I wanted everything to be perfect. I didn't want to create conflict," she continues. "And I realize now that is not the way to do things, because look what happens. So I definitely recognize how I could have done things better.... I had no idea, but there were times when I did feel something."

Love Is Blind. (L to R) Raven Ross, SK Alagbada in episode 304 of Love Is Blind.
Raven and SK from Love Is Blind. Courtesy of Netflix

Now, Raven says, she's already using what she's learned from her failed engagement to SK in her new relationship.

"We had to have lots of hard conversations. I think he had seen the show, but he's a guy so he doesn't really see or follow [the SK drama]," she explains of her new beau, who she hopes to be engaged to by the end of the year. "I've definitely had to explain a lot of things, and that's not easy. That's super awkward. But it's only brought us closer together so far."

"I needed [the engagements with SK] to get to where I am now. So I'm like, 'OK, that had to happen. It really, really, really, really, really sucked. But now I can take it and make something great from it,'" she continues. "I have always been someone who's had walls up, had my guard up all the time, and we do that to protect ourselves. And it clearly didn't work for me."

"So I want to lead with vulnerability and just full honesty [moving forward]," she adds. "And I know that there's a chance something could happen because, I mean, pretty much the worst that could happen has already happened. So I may as well just lean into it with everything I have and see if something will change."

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Love Is Blind is now streaming on Netflix.

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