KUWTK: Kim Kardashian Says She Feels Like a 'Failure' amid Relationship Troubles with Kanye West
Kim Kardashian filed for divorce from Kanye West in February, months after the most recent season of Keeping Up with the Kardashians wrapped filming
During Thursday's episode of the reality show — the second to last ahead of next week's series finale — Kim, 40, walked into the family's vacation spot on Lake Tahoe and immediately directed her anger at a plate of cookies in the kitchen.
"Did I not say no to these cookies? Like, they have to be taken away. I gained 15 lbs., like, this is a joke. I'm gonna throw them in the toilet," she said.
"Then control yourself, Kim, because I like those," sister Kendall Jenner replied.
"No, I cannot eat them and I'm not joking," Kim said as Khloé Kardashian, 36, advised, "Let's not start by complaining."
"Where's my room? I just want to go to my room and never come out," Kim said.
"Kim has been struggling privately behind camera about her relationship and it's tough because Kim is clearly redirecting so much of her frustration and sadness and anger. And, you know, sometimes you just take things out on something that has nothing to do with what you're going through," Khloé said in her confessional, referencing Kim and Kanye's struggles. "It's not the cookies' fault."
At the time of filming, Kim and Kanye, 43, were still together after weathering a tumultuous year that included the rapper's unsuccessful presidential run, rumors of divorce and more public drama.
"How are you and Kanye doing?" Khloé asked Kim after the cookie incident.
"There's no fighting, like, now it's all calm so I just roll with it," the KKW Beauty mogul said, before Khloé revealed that Kim and Kanye had a fight prior to the family's Tahoe trip. (Kanye was not in attendance on the vacation.)
"Kim is dealing with so much right now, and it's tough because before we left, her and Kanye had this big fight," Khloé told the cameras.
The footage then turned to the aftermath of the former couple's fight, with Kim crying to her sisters about what had unfolded.
"I honestly can't do this anymore," she said through tears. "Why am I still in this like, place where I'm stuck for years? Like, he goes and moves to a different state, every year, I have to be together so I can raise the kids, you know? And he's an amazing dad, he's done an amazing job …"
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She continued, "I think he deserves someone that can go support his every move, go follow him all over the place and move to Wyoming — I can't do that. He should have a wife that supports his every move and travels with him and does everything."
"I feel like a f------ failure, that it's like, a third f------ marriage," Kim added. "Yeah I feel like a f------ loser. But I can't even think about that like, I want to be happy."
"Kim is one of the most incredible human beings, literally ever, and she tries to protect their union at all costs, but it's hard when you carry that responsibility on your shoulders and I just want her to take care of herself too," Khloé said in her confessional before the episode turned back to her conversation with Kim in Tahoe.
"You can always talk to me about whatever," she told Kim.
"There's honestly nothing to talk about," Kim said. "I mean, I won't live with the fighting and stuff, like, if it was constant."
Elsewhere in the episode, the family found a few ways to commemorate their last family vacation on KUWTK, with Khloé suggesting they create and bury a time capsule and mom Kris Jenner putting together a scavenger hunt based on some iconic moments they've documented over the years.
Kris, 65, also organized a "Secret Santa" gift exchange among the family members.
"Because this is our last family trip, I thought the Secret Santa gifts should represent something that was sentimental to us about the show for the last 20 seasons, something that stood out, and that's what your gift to that person should be," she explained.
Some of the gifts had a clear connection to the show — diamond earrings for Kim, in a reference to her infamously losing a diamond earring in the ocean — but Corey Gamble's present for Kourtney Kardashian, 42, caused the Poosh founder to take pause.
After she opened the gift, a gold necklace with the word "love," Corey commented that it was to represent "the future you're gonna give Scott Disick."
"Corey," Kourtney said, clearly unnerved by the comment about ex Scott.
"People always try to convince me in my family to get back with Scott, but they just don't know the whole picture," she said in her confessional. "Like, Scott and I have had a lot of private conversations, and he knows what I would need to even consider this like, being an option."
After the gift giving concluded, Kourtney continued to discuss her feelings about Scott, 38, with Kim and Khloé.
"Scott and I have had so many private conversations over the years about what I would need in order to even think about getting back together," she told her sisters. "He hasn't done it, but I feel like how he talks to other people, he'll say it's because of me. And then I feel like when he has conversations with you guys, everyone's talking about, 'Oh, you guys should get married' and I'm like, 'Does everyone just like, believe every word that he's saying?' It all gets put on me."
"I think that's also a burden that you're feeling," Kim said.
"No, because it's like, Scott saying it and then he's like, 'The whole family's supporting, we just need Kourtney to get on board' and it's like, no," Kourtney replied.
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"But are you okay living your life like this?" Kim said.
"No, but what I'm saying …" Kourtney began, while Kim continued: "Seriously, I need an answer. How long is this going to be, seriously? I'm impatient now."
"Should I finish my sentiment?" Kourtney asked, trying to get a word in.
Kim, however, pressed on. "I really need an answer. What is going to happen?" she said, as the penultimate KUWTK episode came to a close with a "To be continued …"
The Keeping Up with the Kardashians series finale airs Thursday, June 10 at 8 p.m. ET on E!