September 12, 2017 08:17 PM

Kristina Schulman is recalling the moment she knew she “had to leave” Dean Unglert and Bachelor in Paradise.

On last week’s episode of BiP, a heartbroken Shculman opted to leave the show without handing her rose out to anyone after Unglert chose to pursue things with Danielle Lombard and informed Schulman of his decision.

Following Monday night’s season 4 finale — when Schulman told Unglert on the aftershow, “I hope that who ever is next in your relationship that you will never treat them like that. I think I took a lot,” referencing the heated (and controversial!) love triangle — she spoke with Bachelor Nation alums Ben Higgins and Ashley Iaconetti on the Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous Podcast about leaving the series.

Allen Berezovsky/Getty; Bob D'Amico/ABC via Getty; Alison Buck/Getty

“Was this an emotional roller coaster for you?” Higgins asked in a PEOPLE exclusive clip of the podcast.

“I would say not as emotional as watching it back. Whenever I was in the moment, it was just the relationship between myself and Dean. I wasn’t focused on anyone around me, really, because I was trying to figure out for myself: what am I doing with this?” Schulman admitted.

“When he asked for his space, I would give it to him. But I would find that you’re asking for your space, but you’re just completely … not talking to me,” she explained. “So I was confused by whenever I would have conversations with Dean, it was reassuring in a way.”

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As BiP neared the end of filming, “things started to kind of go a little crazy and emotions were running high,” Schulman said.

“That’s when I got emotional and I just had to leave,” she shared of her shocking exit.

WATCH: ‘BIP’ Contestant Makes Unexpected Exit Following Rejection From Her Love Interest: ‘I’m Hurt & Disrespected’

Although the pair didn’t find happily ever after in Mexico, Schulman still has love for Unglert. “I’ll always have that love for you I was intense but it was really and I’ve never experienced that before. I will always have a special place in my heart for you Dean,” she said on the finale.

Looking to the future, Schulman hopes to find love — but only time will tell if she’d be open to doing so as ABC’s Bachelorette.

“If asked to be the next Bachelorette, I would have to probably consider when the time comes to it because again, watching Bachelor in Paradise, it was a lot of emotion,” she told Iaconetti.

“It’s hard to see yourself that emotional,” she admitted. “When the opportunity presents itself, if it does, I’ll consider it then. But for now, I have to kind of learn from Bachelor in Paradise and move on from that.”

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