All the Signs of Marital Trouble Between Kristin Cavallari and Jay Cutler on Very Cavallari
Kristin Cavallari and Jay Cutler's split came as a surprise to some fans, but others noticed signs the couple was going through ups and downs in their marriage during the three seasons of their E! reality series, Very Cavallari.
The mom of three, 33, made the divorce announcement on Sunday, writing, "With great sadness, after 10 years together we have come to a loving conclusion to get a divorce. We have nothing but love and respect for one another and are deeply grateful for the years shared, memories made, and the children we are so proud of. This is just the situation of two people growing apart. We ask everyone to respect our privacy as we navigate this difficult time within our family."
Cavallari and Cutler, who tied the knot in 2013, share sons Camden, 7, Jaxon, 5, and daughter Saylor, 4.
Below are some of the quotes from past Very Cavallari seasons that indicate there may have been red flags for the pair's impending divorce.
Though the show also highlights workplace drama, Cavallari and Cutler's relationship was at the center. Season 1 was the first in-depth look at the pair's romance as cameras followed their decision to buy and move to another house as well as their changing dynamic with Cutler staying at home more amid her booming Uncommon James business.
Discussing her full work plate, Cavallari, who was taking more business trips with Cutler assuming the role of stay-at-home dad, spoke about her busy schedule in confessional interviews. "Is it hard to say goodbye to Jay when you go away on these business trips?" a producer asked the reality star. "I don't think it's hard to say goodbye to Jay," Cavallari said, laughing. "We've been together for so long, to be honest, it's kinda nice to have a minute to myself."
Cavallari also spoke about their finances as audiences learned they keep separate accounts.
During a discussion about money, she told Cutler that she thinks all women should have some money of their own kept on the side. "That’s how it should be though. The girl should have her own stash. No girl should ever have to stay in a relationship because a guy is supporting her," she said. "I am with you because I love you, not because I need you."
"I have a husband who gets no attention ... and obviously it's been challenging finding a time for us," Cavallari told Cutler before he said, "Well at least it's good that you're aware of it," to which she agreed: "You are the last man on the totem pole."
During season 2, one of the storylines featured a memorable argument between Cavallari and Cutler at the dinner table with friends. Cutler, who appeared to be inebriated, told the entire group how Cavallari was "the breadspender," a slight dig to the term breadwinner. Later, during a confessional interview, she called his remarks "embarrassing."
And while they tried to get their romance back on track, there was a lot of talk about Cutler's post-retirement life after leaving the NFL in 2017.
During a dinner with her then-best friend Kelly Henderson, Cavallari told her: "With him completely shifting, he was doing what he really loved and what he's always known. He's only ever known football. And now, he doesn't know what he wants to do, and that's gotta be really scary. I want him to have a purpose in life other than being a dad right now. He needs something more."
Henderson responded, "That must be hard on y'all's relationship," before Cavallari told her she hoped their trip to Cabo San Lucas would help. "I'm hoping it helps us reconnect. It's just so hard to reconnect with so much going on and the kids, and everyone's tired. Cabo, there should be no added stress," Cavallari added.
Later, she reflected on the changes in their lives. "It's been a while since Jay and I went on a trip just the two of us. I say what's changed, is obviously, how busy I've become. Uncommon James has really exploded in that short amount of time and so I've just had to focus on work a lot more than I ever have."
And during some alone time on the trip, Cavallari brought up their discussion about the need to make more time for one another.
"Listen, the other day, you know how we had the conversation about how I haven't really been able to make time for you. So I left that conversation and I was thinking about it and I was kind of like, 'Hang on a second. Why is this all my fault?' " Cavallari told Cutler during an episode. "I just didn't feel like that was very fair. I feel like if you were really supportive and really encouraging of everything I have going on, I would want to make time for you. It would be a different situation, but I feel like everything I have going on is a problem."
Shortly after, Cutler apologized. "I just gotta do a better job. You're consumed with [Uncommon James] and you should be. That's how you're going to be successful and that's how you're going to run a good business," he said. "It is a lot of change this year. You going from zero to 60 and I just gotta deal with it."
"You and I basically switched roles," she said as he agreed, "Completely. When I was playing football, you didn't pressure me," but she also noted: "When you were playing football, literally I had to give up my whole life and I had to just live your life. I never gave you a hard time about it. It just was what it was. I was at every game and I supported you. I did everything I was supposed to do as a wife. And I feel like since I've gotten really busy, I don't feel that same support from you. We got to get back on the same page, I just don't feel like we're on the same page right now. We're having a really hard time seeing eye to eye."
"When Season 2 was airing, there was a lot of talk on social media about Jay and Kelly having an affair," Cavallari said during the premiere of season 3. "Not for one second have I ever thought that it was true. It wasn't the actual accusations of them having an affair that made me upset; it was how Kelly went about it."
The mom of three claimed Henderson kept mentioning the NFL star on social media. "Why do you want to post about that? To get more attention about it. If I was accused of having an affair with your husband, I wouldn't say his f---ing name on social media. Like, come on," Cavallari said.
All the while, her business was expanding and opportunities were making her work-life balance more difficult. In another episode, Cavallari shared her frustrations. "There's just been so much going on, you know? What am I supposed to do, just not be involved in everything we have going on?" she told the former Chicago Bears quarterback. "I think if it was just Uncommon James that I did, it would be fine. But, it's that I am in the middle of working on a cookbook, I'm flying out to L.A. to go do these big red carpet shows, I did another show in between this show that I was hosting by myself."
Speaking about their "issues," the former MTV reality star told viewers: "Jay has been great, yes. From the outside, things are so perfect and things are so great. But actually, they're not. And that sucks. It sucks. That's the thing, though, with marriage ... it's ups and downs. But in two months we could be up here again ... that's how we've always been, our whole relationship. It is what it is."
Cavallari added, "There's no such thing as a perfect relationship. Jay and I have problems. I've always been very vocal about that. We have to work at our relationship, so hearing him say that we're perfect is kind of silly to me. We definitely have issues."
Another confession during the season was that she and Cutler have trouble communicating while in conflict. "We speak two different languages when it comes to conflict," Cavallari said.
And towards the end of the season, they went to Italy for a trip to learn about her roots. During a dinner, Cavallari opened up about her appreciation for Cutler while reflecting on her "rocky" year.
"It’s been a bit of a rocky year. I feel like the older you get, the more you realize who is supposed to be in your life. You figure out who your real friends are — friends come and go. It’s nice that I have you as my constant," she said at the time. "You're my common denominator. You're really grounding for me. You're a good sounding board and you keep me level-headed, so thank you."