The two split earlier this year after he cheated on her with Jordyn Woods

Sunday’s season 17 premiere of Keeping Up with the Kardashians took fans inside Khloé Kardashian and Tristan Thompson‘s first public reunion since he cheated on her with Jordyn Woods in February.

As the episode began, Khloé, 35, admitted she still had “so many raw emotions” towards her ex in the wake of the scandal.

“I’m really just trying to figure out my own life at the moment,” she said. “I’m just healing and processing and going through the motions.”

According to her, Thompson, 28, had been making efforts to patch things up between them and had asked to see her while he was in town. (She refused.)

“Tristan thinks people are disposable — if he sends me enough flowers or enough text messages, I’m going to come around,” she said.

“I still have not spoken to Tristan face-to-face and right now, I am not ready to,” she continued. “I know I’ll get to that place, but right now it’s really challenging and tough for me. My feelings are super raw and I am really humiliated and hurt by what he did to me.”

Credit: Matt Winkelmeyer/Getty; Michael Loccisano/Getty

The only issue? Their daughter True‘s first birthday was coming up April 12, and while Khloé didn’t want to see him, she felt it would be unfair towards True to shut her dad out of the celebrations.

“It’s the first time Tristan and I will be in a public setting together,” she explained. “I’m envisioning a party full of people, Tristan walks in and everyone is staring at us — I don’t want this at my daughter’s first birthday party.”

“All Tristan does is sent countless amounts of flowers, calls, texts, and I just haven’t been ready to talk to him because I feel like it’s going to turn into a screaming match and I don’t care to scream,” she continued. “But I said that I would be willing for the first time to speak to him if there’s a therapist involved.”

They ended up doing an off-camera therapy session via FaceTime “to help co-parent True,” but according to Khloé, it didn’t exactly go well — and left her wanting to un-invite him from the party.

“It was a really, really hard time for me. I am fighting with myself now,” she reflected. “Did I make the right choice by including Tristan in True’s birthday party?”

Her mom Kris Jenner urged her to be the bigger person. “Nobody wants to be left out of the memories that are made,” she said. “I am not going to tell you what to do with Tristan because those feelings are still really raw, I am just asking you to be a little easier.”

“Hopefully when True looks back at all the pictures, she’ll see both of her parents there having a good time,” she added.

Ultimately, Khloé decided Thompson could still come, but she invited him over the night before so they could “get the whole initial weird first seeing each other out of the way in private.” Their reunion wasn’t filmed for the show, but the next day, Khloé filled her assistant in on how it went, admitting it was “pretty awkward.”

“He was just kind of lingering … He was like, ‘So, do you want to grab a glass of wine?'” she said, adding that Thompson even tried to kiss her after she reluctantly gave him a hug.

“I go, ‘This is the problem with you. You can’t just take what you get,'” she said. “Then this morning he was like, ‘Thank you for letting me see True. She looked great, you looked even better.’ … Sometimes I feel like if I give an inch, he’ll take a mile and take my kindness for weakness.”

While it was certainly tense when Thompson showed up at the party later that day, Khloé did her best to remain civil and even suggested they take a family photo. But beyond her and Thompson, her biggest concern was how her ex would interact with her sister Kim Kardashian West, who has been the most outspoken critic of the relationship.

“This situation, it’s a little awkward,” Khloé said. “Everyone is staring at us and I’m really concerned, a little uncomfortable, about Kim and Tristan’s dynamic.”

Khloe Kardashian and True Thompson
Credit: Khloe Kardashian / Instagram

As it turns out, Kim wasn’t the one she had to worry about: Apparently, the only confrontation Thompson ended up having at the party was with Kanye West. Footage was shown of the two having an animated conversation, and while there was no audio, West later explained that Thompson was upset about the fact that the family used the intro to West’s song “Runaway” in a KUWTK teaser. (The lyrics reference toasting to “a—holes” and “scumbags.”)

“He felt like we were using my music to reinforce his narrative,” West said.

But Khloé wasn’t having it and stormed off in tears. “I don’t need at my daughter’s birthday party for any of this to be a discussion,” she fumed.

“I know everyone’s intention is to help and be protective,” she added. “But at True’s birthday party, it’s not the right timing.”

Keeping Up with the Kardashians airs Sundays (9 p.m. ET) on E!