Khloé Kardashian Opens Up About Losing Her Father at 19: 'Me and My Daughter, We Pray to Him'
He may be gone, but the late Robert Kardashian Sr. lives on in spirit.
“We’re here because we had a lot of things happen to us when we were growing up, and I feel like it sort of put us down for a while,” Amber admits to Khloé, 35, who guides men and women through emotional and physical transformations on the show with the help of health, beauty and style experts.
When the twins reveal they lost their dad at 13 to the same cancer that killed Robert, Khloé is shocked.
“Oh my God,” she says. “My dad had that when I was 19. It’s a rare cancer and it’s a very fast cancer.” (Robert, a businessman and attorney who helped defend friend O.J. Simpson, was diagnosed with esophageal cancer in July 2003 and died less than eight weeks later, at age 59.)
“There’s no one that can take your spot as your dad. I wish that he was still here to this day, but he’s here in spirit,” Ashley says. “I talk to him, still. Some people might think it’s weird, but I talk to him.”
Khloé says she does the same.
“I still talk to my dad all the time, every night,” she says. “Me and my daughter, we pray to him, we talk to him, so I’m a big believer of that.”
RELATED VIDEO: Kris Jenner Calls Cheating on Husband Robert Kardashian ‘One of My Biggest Regrets in Life’
The twins explain that their dad’s death took “a toll” on their mother, Dana, who was an alcoholic.
“Six years later, it hit October, around the time that she usually got pretty sad about my dad’s death,” Amber recalled. “She was just not herself, and I remember I was getting ready to go out with a couple of my friends and I got an outfit. I was like, ‘How does it look?’ She goes, ‘Oh, it’s good. I’m just going to go lay down.’ Fifteen minutes later, I found her passed out on her bed.”
“Her death certificate says chronic alcoholism,” Ashley adds, choking up. “It just still doesn’t seem real, and it’s going to be two years.”
“A bond with your mom is something really different. And not having her here, like, you just feel done sometimes,” Amber admits.
“I try, with every negative experience, to find what did I learn from that? What did that teach me?” Khloé advises. “You know, at least I had 19 amazing years with my dad, and I have the best memories.”
“You’re allowed to be sad and you should mourn, but the more we live in our past, it just hinders from any personal growth,” she adds. “Because we’re not focusing on the moment right now.”
Revenge Body with Khloé Kardashian airs Sundays (9 p.m. ET) on E!